Sunday, July 29, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.01 -- "We Don't Need Another Hero"

Case: A soldier who was just recognized as being a hero is killed right after the ceremony; Other soldiers from her platoon start getting killed too;
RizzIsles: Three months after the siege at headquarters, Jane is recovering from shooting herself and isn’t officially back on the job yet; Maura tries to help Jane see that the pain she’s still having is in her head; Maura has apparently been dating Jane’s trauma surgeon.

Maura: (knocks on Jane’s door, Jane answers) You look terrible.
Jane: Thank you.
Maura: You’re making everyone late.
Jane: Even you would look bad if a bullet had gone through you.
Maura: Laceration to your peritoneum could explain your jaundice color.
Jane: (mouthful of cereal) You may not casually discuss my privates.

Maura: Three months.  You could have read all of Shakespeare.  Learned Finnish.  Instead you’ve become a platinum member of the shopping channel.
Jane: I swear to God if you start cleaning I WILL kick you out.
Maura: Is that why you banned your mother?
Jane: Is that what she said?  Did she mention that all of her OCD banging and clanking around isn’t restful?  What Finnish?  Like Finland, Finnish?!
Maura: The stress hormone cortisol suppresses your immune cell’s ability to activate telomerase.
Jane: So you say.  Mine are fine.
Maura: Quite simply keeping your brain busy aids recovery.  Mind.  Body.
Jane: Mind. Business.
Maura: You are my business.

Maura: Wait, what?  (concerned)  You still have pain?
Jane: No I just like saying ow.
Maura: (dragging Jane to get ready)  Could be from intermittent obstruction due to adhesions.  When was your last bowel movement?
Jane: (stopping to stare)  You just can’t help yourself, can you?
Maura: I think you’re avoiding.

Maura: (stopping in her tracks, pointing)  What is THAT?!
Jane: (smirking at self-defense dummy)  It’s a get well present from Korsak and Frost.  (goes back to couch)
Maura: That is restful?!  Where is your uniform?!  (storms back to Jane’s bedroom)  OH!  (outraged)  It is DISGUSTING in here!
(Jane smiles on couch)

(Maura returns to living room with Jane’s uniform)
Maura: Put this on.
Jane: Makes me look like a man.
Maura: We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Jane: I’m not a hero, Maura.  Shooting yourself is not heroic.
Maura: The people of Boston think it is. 
Jane: Eight people died.  I don’t want a medal for that.
Maura: Five of them were bad guys, Jane.  This ceremony isn’t for you.  This is, this is for, your fellow officers, and your parents and your community.  You’re a symbol.  You are a heroic, flesh and blood reminder of the thin blue line.
Jane: (smiling warmly)  That’s good.  You almost had me.
Maura: K.  The hard way.

(Jane gets called up to accept her medal)
Maura: (whispering as Jane stands up)  Say something uplifting.

(Accepting her medal)
Jane: (shaky) I didn’t prepare anything, just cause, I don’t think of myself as a hero.  (Maura motions “uplifting” from her seat)  Uh, most of you, you know my, my little brother Frankie.  Frankie, stand up, help me out.  (Frankie stands, applause)  Um, Frankie is alive because of Dr. Maura Isles.  She normally works on dead people (crowd laughs).  He’s alive because of her, not because of me.  I, uh, I was just doing my job.  I, we, we all do this job because it’s, uh, it’s what we’ve been trained to do.  Ya know, we’ve been trained not to think of ourselves, but to act.  Because, ya know, (getting choked up) life is unfair and bad things happen, and ya know, I think that we’re here, we’re all here, to remind everybody that, uh, sometimes the good guys still win.  Thank you very much.

Guy: Jane.
Jane: (stops walking, turns around) Casey!  Hi.  How are you?  What are you doing here?
Casey: You don’t come to the high school Reunions.  I wanted to see how you turned out.
Jane: You came from Afghanistan to see how I turned out?
Casey: Everyone on leave got an invite.  Thought it’d be fun to see you.  You look great.
Jane: Lieutenant.  Delta Force.  Impressive.  I want to talk to you, just give me a sec, okay?

Angela: Oh Jane, I’m so proud of you. 
Jane: (hugging)  Thank you.  Where’s Daddy?  (Angela starts crying)  What happened, Ma?  (Frankie helps Jane get Angela to a chair)  Ma?  (Angela motions for a pen; Jane, to Maura)  Uh, I need a pen!
Maura: What’s wrong?
Jane: I need a pen!  She gets very emotional, then she can’t talk so we have her write it down.  (Angela writes)  Okay, okay, here, Ma.  (Standing by Angela’s chair, hugging her to her)
Maura: (reading napkin Angela wrote on)  Divorced.
(Camera crew comes over)
News Guy: Detective Rizzoli, can you give us a quick interview.  How does it feel to be a hero?
Jane: Fantastic.  Can you give me a sec?  She gets very emotional when she’s proud.  (kneeling in front of Angela)  Ma, it’s okay.  It’s going to be okay.  Here, let Frankie take you home.  (grabs note from Maura)  WHAT?!  (reading)  We are getting divorced. 
Maura: That’s terrible.  (grabbing Jane’s tie)  This should come out.  (licks her finger, tries to clean tie)

Casey:  Let me get you guys a drink.
Other Hero: Nothing for me thanks.
Jane: Doctor says water or prune juice.
Casey: Sexy.  (walks away)
Jane: (to Abby) We dated in high school.

Jane: (sees Maura walking with some guy) UGH.  Sluckie.  Can this night get any worse?!
Casey: Thanks.
Jane: Except for you.  This is my Trauma Surgeon.  Luckily I was under when we hung out together.  Watch this, everything is the royal “we”.  Watch.
Surgeon: So how are we feeling Jane?
Jane: We are feeling fine, but WE can’t speak for everyone.  (drags Maura away)  All the single guys in Boston, you gotta date Yukie Sluckie.
Maura: Don’t refer to Byron that way.
Jane: It’s unethical Maura.
Maura: Why?  He was your doctor not mine.  (points at Casey)  He is very sexy.  He has an odd accent though.
Jane: Yea he moved here from England when he was a kid.  I nearly lost my virginity to him.
Maura: Byron is much better when he’s not talking, Jane.  I think you would really like him.
Jane: Oh I like him… WHEN I’M ANESTHETIZED.  Your turtle has a better bedside manner.
Maura: (offended, sweetly) Tortoise.  And I don’t disagree with you.  Which is why it was a wonderful surprise to find out that he was very tender when he wasn’t by the bed, but (sultry glance) IN the bed.
Jane: EW!  It’s like thinking about my parents having sex.  (pause)  My parents are getting a divorce.
Maura: I know.  I’m so sorry.
Jane: This is just too much crap.  I need to learn how to compartmentalize.  How do men do it?
Maura: Simply separate everything into isolated compartments.
Jane: (dryly)  Thank you.  That’s very helpful.  Please, go have tender sex with Byron and I’m going home.
Maura: Ya know, you do need to boost your immune system and sex is very good for that. 
Jane: Thank you doctor.  (looks around in disbelief)
Maura: (exhales, distracted) Mm.

Casey: So how come we never finished what we started?
Jane: Because you didn’t give me the time of day until Senior Week.
Casey: (laughs)  I was a jerk. 
Jane: No you were just too cool for me.  And, smart.
Casey:  Truth?  You were too scary for me. 
Jane: Gee thanks.
Casey: I looked cool, but I was like 12 in boy years.  You were a force even then.  Smart, beautiful, didn’t care what anyone thought of you. 
Jane: Inside I was a geek.

(Car with Private Abby Sherman blows up; Casey drags Jane across the street, away)
Maura: (running through chaos) Jane!  Jane, are you okay?!  (to Casey)  I got this.  (takes Jane’s arm, leads her to sidewalk)
Cavanaugh: Rizzoli, I need you out of here.  You’re not cleared for duty.  Dr. Isles we’re gonna need you.  Frankie!  Get her home!  We don’t need any more casualties.
Jane: I wanna help!  (Frankie takes her from Maura’s arms and walks her off-site)

Frankie: Just promise me you’ll stay put.  (Jane nods)  It’s gonna be okay.
(Jane is dressed and walking into BPD Headquarters)
Officer at Security Gate: Wow.  Detective Rizzoli!
Jane: You’re new.  (shakes his hand)
Officer: Yea, I’m um--
Jane: (reading badge) Officer Reynolds.
Officer: Yea.  Pleasure to meet you, really.  Jane smiles and starts to walk forward)  Uh, I can’t let you in without a badge.  Sorry.
Jane: (lifting shirt to show bullet wound)  Okay, look there’s my badge.  We got a tough case.
Officer: Uh, no, I can’t.  Uh, security’s been really tight since--
Jane: Since me.
Maura: (walking into headquarters with Trauma Surgeon)  What are you doing here?
Jane: I’m trying to figure out who killed Abby Sherman.
Surgeon: We haven’t cleared you yet.
Maura: Are you sure you’re ready for this, Jane?
Jane: I’m sure that I’m done sitting on my ASS.  (grabs a pen and paper)  Here.  Clear me for active duty.
Surgeon: Call Darlene in my office.  Make an appointment.  (kisses Maura’s cheek)  See ya later.
Jane: Oh yea, real tender.  I don’t know how I never noticed.  Get me in there!
Maura: Jane.  Go home.  Get better.
Jane: Maura.  You heard me.  This is who I am.  This is what I do.  Now get me in there.
Maura: Ughh… okay, fine.  But I’m only doing this because I’m afraid that you’re gonna hurt yourself.  (to officer)  It’s okay Sam.  Detective Rizzoli is with me.
Jane: (gets handed a visitor sitcker)  Really?!
Maura: Downstairs only!  I will poke you in your scar tissue if you even touch the up arrow.
(Steps onto elevator, Jane rips off visitor sticker and holds it out for Maura; Maura rolls her eyes and shakes her head)

(Jane twirling her hair)
Maura: (teasing tone) That’s a sign of sexual frustration.
Jane: Or tangled hair.

Jane: It looks different in here.
Maura: That is correct Rip van Winkle.  Wait til you see my office.  The decorator just finished.
Jane: (dramatic teenage girl voice) Oh, my God, I’m so excited!  I might need a paper bag!
Maura: Ya know, it’s possible it’s taking you longer to heal because of your attitude.
Jane: A .40 caliber bullet went thru me, Maura.  My attitude isn’t faking that.
Maura: You’re not faking anything.  (walks toward Jane)  You had a life threatening injury.  But you’re strong, healthy.  Something’s gotten in the way of your healing.  (examines Jane’s injury) 
Jane: OW!  Will you please stop doing that!
Maura: Just wish I knew what was causing that pain.
Jane: Again, I’m going with a .40 caliber bullet.

Maura: Are you sure you want to be here?  She was very badly burned.
Jane: Yea.  She survives two tours in Afghanistan and gets blown up at home.  (twirls hair, notices what she’s doing, stops)  (Maura gets prepped to open body bag, keeps looking over to check on Jane)  No, I can’t.  I can’t, I can’t.  (walks out)

Jane: (hunched over by desk in Maura’s office, holding her injury)  What the hell is wrong with me?!  I’ve been through worse than this.  Abby deserves better---
Maura: (walks in behind her, rubs her back, speaks softly)  Jane take a deep breath.
Jane: No I can’t, it hurts.  (starts to stand upright and walk to a chair)  What if I’m never who I was?
Maura: That’s the human condition. 
Jane: Thanks.  That’s really upbeat.  (sits down in strange orange chair)  Ow!  This hurts too!  How uncomfortable is THIS?!
Maura: How can you say that!  That’s a Kareem Rasheed label.
Jane: Oh, well in that case (awkwardly sits back) it’s like the warm caress of a mother’s hand.
Maura: Your parasympathetic nerve is in overdrive.  It’s a protective mechanism.
Jane: What because I don’t like your office?  Did taxpayers pay for this?!  (knocking on the plastic of the orange chair)
Maura: Of course not.  (Jane keeps switching positions trying to figure out how to sit in the chair)  Ya know, you might still be in physical pain because of a post-traumatic psycho-pathological reaction to what’s happened to you.
Jane: Make it stop.  (lays head back onto chair)  What do you do when fear is killing you?
Maura: Well it’s hard to die from fear unless you have a congenital heart condition.  (“Really?!” look from Jane)  What can I do?
Jane: Get me upstairs.

Jane: Sorry about the mess.
Casey: I don’t mind.  I’ve been living in a tent.  Aren’t you supposed to be drinking prune juice?
Jane: Not after this.  (clinks beers)

Casey: Wanna know something crazy?
Jane: (flirty) Yea lay it on me!
Casey: I was thinking except for the girly part, Abby was like you.
Jane: I’m honored.  …except for the girly part.  I can be girl.  (Casey raises an eyebrow) 
Casey: No.  I always liked your toughness.  You’re a softshell crab, Rizzoli.
Jane: A not girly, crab.  Wow.  You (giggling) really need to work on your pickup lines.
Casey: Hard on the outside, soft on the inside.  No? 
Jane: (shaking her head) No.
Casey: That’s why you’re such an incredible cop.  (getting softer)  Cause you care so damn much.
Jane: Maybe too much.
Casey: You can’t care too much.  (moves in for the kiss)

Angela: (storming into Jane’s bedroom, picking up laundry, ranting to herself)  Thirty years I’ve been picking up that man’s socks!  Cooking without spices because it gave him indigestion!  (Stops in her tracks; Casey is getting out of Jane’s bed to leave)
Casey: Hey Mrs. Rizzoli.
Angela: Hello Charles.
(Casey gets up, walks out, turns to give Jane a surprised look, leaves)
Jane: C’MON MA!!!  For just once in my life can you please KNOCK?!
(Angela throws armful of laundry at Jane)

(Angela in kitchen, Jane comes out)
Angela: Too sick to wash the dishes but not too sick to have intercourse?
Jane: Intercourse, Ma?!  C’mon.  We didn’t sleep together.  Okay, yes, we slept—why am I having this conversation?!  I gave you a key for emergencies only.
Angela: Yea it was an emergency.  The health department was gonna come condemn the place!  I made you breakfast.
Jane: Thank you.

Jane: You can stay here.  As long as you’d like.  You can have my bedroom.
Angela: I’m not gonna impose.
Jane: You wouldn’t be imposing.
Angela: That’s very nice of you.  Thank you.  But, uh, Dr. Isles offered me her Guest House.
Jane: What?
Angela: (offended)  I’m a good guest!
(Jane at Maura’s house)
Jane: Are you a masochist?!  You bought this house for your mother to visit, not mine!
Maura: Increased blood flow.  Rush of endorphins.  You feel less pain today, don’t you?
Jane: What are you talking about?
Maura: (teasing tone) You had sex.
Jane: We did not have sex.  We almost, had— It’s really none of your business.  But feel free to chat about it with my mother at your slumber parties.
Maura: I never really got much sleep at slumber parties.
Jane: (whining)  Why?!  Why are you doing this?
Maura: Because she’s your family.
Jane: I feel guilty.
Maura: Catholic guilt.  Did you know that the University of Parma study found that devout Catholics are more likely to show signs of OCD?  Martin Luther’s strict definitions of the sacraments is too constraining.
Jane: I hated Confession.
Maura: Did you have a lot to confess to?
Jane: I made stuff up because if you confess to sins you’re not sorry for, that’s a sin.
Maura: Isn’t making up sins a sin?
(Trauma Surgeon walks into the kitchen)
Surgeon: How are we this morning?
Jane: (annoyed) I called Darlene in your office.  She said you were “too busy” to squeeze me in.
Surgeon: Yea well we are rather busy.
Jane: (irritated, to Maura)  And so are you.  I’ll be waiting outside.  I’d like to discuss your pathology findings.

Maura: (to Surgeon)  I’m worried about her.  She still has pain.  Shouldn’t she be healed?
Surgeon: Patients heal at different rates.
Maura: But you don’t know her.  (laughs)  She had a dislocated shoulder and she still tackled a 200 pound suspect, to the ground.  (smiles proudly)
Surgeon: Are we questioning my opinion? 
Maura: Well there could be another component.  The mind is powerful.  She had a trauma--
Surgeon: No.  You’re merely a pathologist and she had expert care from a renowned trauma surgeon.
Maura: Are you talking about yourself in the 3rd person?
Surgeon: Are we angry?
Maura: We are!  (grabs OJ glass from his hands)  Thank you for reminding me why I don’t date surgeons.  (slams his briefcase into him)

Jane: Maura, what can you tell us about her gunshot wound?
Maura: That would just be my opinion.  (uncomfortably shakes her head)
Jane: Pretend I’m a Priest and I can’t tell anyone.
Maura: I’m not Catholic.  (Jane takes a deep breath)  It is my opinion that she was facing her shooter when she was shot.  …from no more than 6 feet away, based on the scaring around the entrance wound.

(Casey leaves Autopsy Room angry)
Jane: Casey---
Maura: That was awkward.  (makes awkward face)
Jane: Ya think?!

Maura: What are you doing?
Jane: Calling the Private that was with her when she was shot.  They were high school sweethearts.  (on phone, Maura moves closer)  Hi, Private Campbell.  Yes, hi, this is Detective Rizzoli.  (Maura is moves *right next to* Jane, Jane shoots her a look)  Um, I have a few more questions for you.  I was wondering (Maura tilts her head next to the phone) today would be fantastic.  (Jane turns to move away)  Perfect.  (Maura smiles gives thumbs up)  Right now.  Alright, thanks. 
Maura: You’re not cleared for active duty.  I’m going with you.
Jane: You’re not a detective.
Maura: Well technically neither are you.  (RizzIsles walk out of Autopsy Room; Jane turns around, grabs case file from Maura)  I’d like that folder back.

Jane: I’m like a boxer with a glass jaw.  Have you ever seen me not able to step up?!
Maura: (shakes her head)  The most powerful force of nature is not a nuclear weapon.
Jane: (stops pacing) When I talk do you hear blah blah blah Maura blah blah blah blah?!
Maura: It’s thoughts.  That’s the most powerful force.  It’s thoughts.
Jane: Job used to take my mind off everything.  It’s, I’m not who I am anymore.
Maura: K, do me a favor.  Close your eyes.  Close ‘em.  (Jane closes eyes)  Take a deep breath.  (Jane flinches in pain; live feed of mission interrupts)

Jane: (reading handmade card)  You’re my hero.
Casey: (walking into Homicide Office) Mine too.  Now I know why we never got together.  You still scare me.  As much as this thing.  (holding up grenade)
Jane: I scare you?
Casey: Mm hm.  I gotta say goodbye.
Jane: Why?  Where you going?
Casey: My leave’s up.  I loved seeing you.  (leans in and kisses her)
Jane: (whispering) I loved seeing you.
Casey: At the next reunion, we’ll finish what we started.  (kisses her, gets up to leave)
(Jane sadly watches him leave, Maura walks in)
Maura: (picks up card, reads it) Hm.  Ya know heroes are actually social deviants.  The famous Zymbardo experiment at Yale proved that.
Jane: He’s going back to Afghanistan.
Maura: Oh.  I’m sorry.
Jane: (sighing) No, it’s good.  I was so scared Maura and I did it anyway.  (smiles)
Maura: (smiles) That’s the definition of a hero.
Jane: Who is a social deviant.
Maura: That’s not a bad thing. (shrugs)
Jane: Right, so I’m a not girly, crabby, social deviant.  That’s great.
Maura: Um, can I just.  Take a deep breath.  (presses Jane’s wound)  Any pain? (Jane excitedly shakes her head)  No! (excited)
Jane: I’m back!
Maura: You’re back!  (high 10)  Ya know, I was pretty sure it was psychosomatic.
Jane: It was so not psychosomatic.
Maura: No, no.  I think it was.
Jane: You think?  So you were guessing?
Maura: Um, no, no.  I can think.  I can consider.  I can conclude--
Jane: No, no, that’s guessing.  You guessed.
Maura: No, I did not.
Jane: (teasing tone)  Dr. Isles guessed.  Dr. Isles guessed.
Maura: I did not.  I did not.
Jane: Did too.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 3.08 -- "Cuts Like a Knife"

Case: Bride is killed before walking down the aisle and is evidently part of an underground, human trafficking operation
RizzIsles: JaneandMaura talk about fantasy weddings; Maura speaks Serbian!; Jane tries to protect Frankie and Frost but is ordered not to say a word

(Maura – in a GORGEOUS grey skirt suit – opens door to Jane’s apartment, Jane walks in behind her – in workout clothes – dragging a long box)
Jane: Maura.  Please.  Help.
Maura: I’m in my brunch clothes.  Can’t we just do this after we go to Newberry Street?
Jane: Maura, we have to put my bed together before you drag me (whining) to boutiqueeeesss.  C’mon.  (Maura makes annoyed face, puts her bag down to help, Jane pulls out directions)  Okay, slide tab A into hole B at the appropriate size for mat--- (drops box, whining) why do they have to make directions so complicated?!
Maura: Okay, they’re not complicated.  (Grabs directions from Jane, gives her a look) Extend arm C to align with bedframe at point D.  (Hands them back to Jane, sarcastic smile)  I see what you mean.

Maura: Is your mother here?
Jane: Yes.  She’s afraid Frankie will get hurt before his big interview.
Maura: Well, the rate of musculo skeletal disorders is highest among movers.
Jane: The rate for uniforms getting a slot in homicide is lowest among mama’s boys.

Angela: Don’t distract them!
Jane: They seem pretty distracted already!
Neighbor Chick: Thanks for letting me mooch off your manpower
Jane: Sure!  Mooch away… (mumbling to herself and Maura)  I’ll just sleep on the floor.

Maura: Her right corroded was severed by something very sharp.
Jane: Oh thank goodness you’re here.  How would we have known it was something sharp?!
Maura: Don’t be mean because your mattress is still on top of your car.
Jane: You can’t get bed bugs from the street, can you?  No, that’s dumb, right?
Maura: Well new mattresses can have bed bugs if they’ve been transported with old ones.  See if you have any, ya know, brown or red stains, or any pearly white casings.
Jane: Please stop talking.

Maura: (Kneels down over victim, speaking Eastern European language)
Jane: Dubio-knick your upper lip to you.
Maura: I said Dubrovnik is a beautiful city.
Frost: You speak Croatian?
Maura: Serbian.  (Says Serbian word)  It’s an easy language
Jane: No, yea, I think I’m picking it up.  Dubro-skav Scooby dooby doo.

(Recording of angry, crazed suspect plays
Maura: She’s displaying signs of intermittent explosive disorder.
(More recording plays)
Jane: Doesn’t sound too intermittent to me.

(Homicide team in BRIC discussing case; Victim came to USA by way of a site called “Samaritan Girl”)
Maura: (walking into the room) That’s an odd name for a relief agency.  A Samaritan helps someone in distress.  If the girl is getting the help, why is she the Samaritan?
Jane: (talking through her teeth)  Shouldn’t you be doing an autopsy instead of giving a grammar lesson?
Maura: Oh.  Yea, well, the coroner’s van is stuck in traffic.  Which reminds me of Boris Kerner’s work on spatial relations of traffic congestion.
Jane: (interrupts Maura) Gosh that’s interesting, but we’re trying to figure out who killed the bride.
Maura: Sorry.  (smells candle)

Maura: What kind of cake would you have?
Jane: (slowly) For, what?
Maura: (matter of factly) Your wedding.
Jane: Who am I marrying?
Maura: I’m going to have hazelnut almond, chocolate gnash and maybe mocha buttercream.
Jane: Maura you don’t even have a boyfriend.
Maura: Oh I’m not getting married.  I just think it’s fun to play fantasy wedding, don’t you?
Jane: If you’re 5.
(Makes a face, goes back to examining the body)
Maura: What a shame to get married in a polyester blend.  What does your dress look like?
Jane: (rolling her eyes, gritting teeth)  I don’t wear dresses.
Maura: Oh c’mon… you must have fantasized about your wedding dress as a little girl.
Jane: Yes, once.  I had a very high fever.
Maura: My gown would be silk charmouse, with an empire waist and a 20 foot train.  And the ceremony would be in the cliffs of Santorini right above a volcano.
Jane: What if the volcano erupts?
Maura: Oh, I’d check for seismic activity.
Jane: Of course.
Maura: And I wanted to marry Antonio Benevienni when I was 12.
Jane: (over dramatic, whiny teenager voice) Not Antonio Benevienni!  I hate it when we like the same guy!
Maura: He died in the 16th Century.  Pioneered the autopsy.  I’d be Maura Dorthea Isles Benevienni.
Jane: Wow, Dorthea?!  And you laughed at Clementine!  Dorthea?!
Maura: I didn’t laugh, I smiled.  I liked it.  And I like that name too because, you know, it’s the name of a famous artist.
Jane: Oh my God, you are SO weird!  Okay, ya know what - fine, if it’ll move things along… I was once in love with Bill Bueckner.  And then the ball went through his legs in the World Series.  No longer.  Can we finish?
Maura: (laughing) Yes.
Jane: Thank you.

(Jane’s phone goes off)
Jane: It’s Korsak.  Our suspect Vicki is upstairs and she will only speak to unmarried women.  (Maura takes her gloves off and starts to leave the room)  Where do you think you’re going?
Maura: I’m UNmarried and Vicki sounds a little UNhinged.  You might need my professional opinion to help break the suspect.
Jane: Since when?

(Maura behind window of interrogation room wearing an earpiece)
Maura: Reassure her.  Compliment her wedding album.
Jane: (to Vicki)  Uh, it’s a nice wedding album.  (Vicki responds erratically, Jane mumbles to Maura thru earpiece)  That was a good idea.
Maura: (through earpiece) Ask her if she has auditory hallucinations.
Jane: You ever hear voices.
(Vicki responds to question)
Maura: (through earpiece) Could be brief reactive psychosis.  It’d help to know the event that precipitated it.
Jane: (mumbling to Maura) You mean the wedding?  That event?!
Vicki: Are you hearing voices too?!
Jane: Uhh… Yes, I have a know-it-all in my ear.  (Maura smirks and shakes her head)
Vicki:  Ya know that Anya bitch was a liar too.
Jane: What do you mean?
Vicki: She said she was a student but she wasn’t.  She said she was a virgin but she was a raging slut!  Turn the page you’ll see. (Jane turns page to see innocent, cute pictures of girl kissing boy on the cheek)  Slut, right?
Maura: (through earpiece) Agree with her so you don’t inflame her.
Jane: Yea, she’s so-- slutty.
Vicki: She deserves what I did to her.
Maura: (through earpiece) She shows no empathy for her victim.
Jane: (snippy to Maura) I got this part. (to victim) You think Anya deserved to have her throat cut?
Vicki: She’s dead?  (excited, yelling)  Oh my God!  That’s FANTASTIC!!  (laughing)
Maura: (through earpiece) She suffers from psychotic delusions.
Vicki: Now Seth and I can get married!!
Jane: (phony, dramatic excitement, clapping) YAY!!
Maura: (through earpiece) It’s my professional opinion that she be put under psychiatric observation. 
Jane: (pulls earpiece out)  Good idea!
Maura: Jane!

Maura: I’m gonna make you eat something green tonight.
Jane: Okay, I’ll get extra pickles on my burger.

Jane: He leaves.  She stays.  Doesn’t that seem kind of….
Maura: Kind of…?  You’re judging her because she’s sitting by herself in a bar.
Jane: NO! …….YES!

Jane: She’s hugging him Maura.
Maura: AH!  Look at that!  She’s kissing him!
Jane: I can see that.  She’s not sitting by herself or keeping her hands to herself.  Is it okay to judge now?!
Maura: If she was a man would you judge?

Jane: I need to tell Frankie.
Maura: Stay out of it.
Jane: And I need to tell Frost.
Maura: STAY. OUT. OF IT.
Angela: Stay out of what?
Maura: Jane’s new neighbor is doing Darwinian Sex Selection.
Angela: What?!  She seemed like such a nice girl even though she has those HIDEOUS tattoos.
Jane: Ma do you even know what she just said?
Angela: Yes I do.  Riley is picking a mate from a big selection.  (mumbling)  Something you should try.
Jane: Oh.  A small selection.  Frankie or Frost!
Angela: What a slut!
Jane: (shocked) Ma!
Angela: Excuse me… Morning Lieutant.
Jane: You think my Mom likes my boss?
Maura: I did see them having sex in the lobby.
Jane: WHAT?!
Maura: It was a joke! (beams with pride)

Jane: Okay, you two are idiots.  She’s playing you both.
Frost: Yea, we know.  It’s all good.
Jane: It’s “all good” if my new neighbor sleeps with both of you?
Maura: Well many cultures exchange partners to indulge in forbidden pleasures.
Jane: Ah jeeze!
Frost: Neither one of us is has hooked up with Riley yet.  I mean that would be a total violation of The Code.  (Frankie nods)
Maura: The Man Code!  Yes, I’ve heard of this.  It’s an unspoken set of rules that men live by.
Jane: Thank you Jane Goodall.  So what, one of these “Man Code Rules” is until Riley does one of you, you both go out with her?
Frankie: Yea.
Maura: Hm.  That seems reasonable.  (excited)  What’s another one?
Frost: Well you can’t share an umbrella.
Frankie: And if you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours his sister is off limits.
Maura: So Jane and Detective Frost can’t “HOOK UP”?
Jane: Maura!  (Maura shakes it off)
Frost: Then there’s the grenade.
Frankie: That’s a big one. 
Maura: I don’t understand.
Frankie: The grenade is a hot girls…… ugly friend.
Frost: You gotta jump on that grenade if it helps your buddy.
Maura: (confused) Helps him how?
Jane: Sleep with the hot chick, Maura!
Maura: (disgusted) OHH!

(RizzIsles moving mattress through Jane’s living room; Jane ranting about case)
Maura: (out of breath) Okay.  Can we just do one thing at a time?  Either talk about the case, or move this mattress.
Jane: (whines, pushes mattress to ground) I hate my brother!
Maura: (kneels on mattress) Ah, well the good news is I don’t see any cimex lectularius larve.
Jane: Maura!  You and the bed bugs.  Please, stop! (voice in the hallway)  That’s Riley!  I’m gonna go ask her to help because it’s her fault we’re moving this mattress!

Jane: Of course my partner and my little brother have to fall for the big drug dealer.  Couldn’t fall for the little drug dealer?!
Maura: Stop worrying.  The Man Code will prevent them from both hooking up with Riley.
Jane: That’s so soothing Maura.  Thank you.  I gotta tell them.  What if something happens?!
Maura: Something will happen if you don’t keep your mouth shut.  You’ll be brought up on charges, and Frankie is going to lose his shot at homicide and Frost will get transferred.
Jane: Okay, well other than that what can happen?
(Maura rolls her eyes and changes the subject to the case)

Maura: You see this copper rivet we found in Anya’s wedding gown?
Jane: Yea.  So?
Maura: Soo… it has traces of a wheat found in the SR6 gene.
Jane: Oh the SR6 gene.  Bummer.
Maura: Do you ever read the journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry?
Jane: (sarcastic) Mm, every issue.  (Maura looks up surprised)  I especially love their “caption the cartoon” contest.
Maura: (excited and surprised) There’s a caption contest?!  (Maura searches on computer for caption contest; Jane throws her head back in frustration, Maura figures it out)  Ha-ha-ha.  SO, the SR6 was a gene cultivated in the 1940s.
Jane: If you’re trying to bore me to death, it’s working.

(Outside suspects warehouse)
Jane: Frost, where’d you get the stun gun?
Frost: Borrowed it.
Korsak: Frost, you go first.
Frost: Why me?!
Korsak: You got the stun gun.
Frost: (hands stun gun to Korsak) Now you got the stun gun.
Jane: Gimme that!

Sasha.  Speaks.  Serbian.

Jane: Franki-- he’s never gonna talk to me again.
Maura: The blue residue I found in Anya’s throat wound is methol isobutol keytone.
Jane: Gee, thank you for the sympathy.  I really appreciate it.
Maura: Well he’ll get over it.  Aren’t ya gonna say “what’s the blue stuff”?
Jane: (obligingly) What’s the blue stuff?
Maura: Dry erase ink.
Jane: (genuinely curious)  What’s that doing in Anya’s throat wound?
Maura: (pleased) Well that’s better!

More. Serbian by Sash.

(Korsak in a tux, driving a black town car)
Korsak: Every so often it pays to be a middle aged white guy.
Jane: (laying on floor in back seat, pulls cover down to reveal her and Frost hiding)  I am so driving on the way back!

(RizzIsles back at Jane’s apartment… in her living room, with her mattress on the floor)
Maura: (sitting on edge of mattress, drinking wine) Are you starting to like Pinot Nior more?
Jane: (laying down on mattress) No, Frost and Frankie drank all the beer.
Maura: Too bad.  Hey, maybe you’ll get a new neighbor and Frankie and Frost will help you move this mattress to your bedroom.
Jane: (laughs) That’d be really nice because traffic is really loud out here.
Maura: (sincerely) You did good work today.
Jane: (softly) Thanks.  At least Anya didn’t die in vain and Lelia gets to stay here and go to college.
Maura: I just think it’s so disgusting that they put her in a wedding gown to auction her off.
Jane: That’s the part that disgusts you??!
Maura: No, all of it disgusts me.

Maura: (lays down next to Jane) So you must’ve had a wedding fantasy when you were little.  Every little girl has one.
Jane: (laughs, rolls her eyes) Okay, it wasn’t really a fantasy.  I had this dumb idea that I would (looks at Maura, intentionally looks away, embarrassed smile) say my vows at Fenway over home plate… in a Red Sox jersey. (looks back at Maura, anticipating reaction)
Maura: (RizzIsles smiling and laughing) It’s not dumb!  It’s not exactly elegant, but… at least it’s colorful.
Jane: (sweetly) We would have the reception over the pitcher’s mound.  We’d serve foot long hot dogs, (Maura looks at Jane listening closely, smiling) frozen lemonade and guests would throw peanuts at us instead of rice.
Maura: Can I come?
Jane: (turning toward Maura, kid-like voice) Maybe!
Maura: Okay.
(Silent moment)
Maura: A Red Sox jersey?
Jane: You’re in my fantasy.  You cannot tell me what to wear!

GIFs not mine > I save awesome stuff after I reblog

Sunday, July 22, 2012

JaneandMaura - Season 1 Stories & Insights

Welcome to the world of Rizzoli and Isles!  As its title implies, the world we’ve just been invited into is based on two amazing women: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles. 

(Thanks to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro for their creation and, OBVIOUSLY, to the Ah-MAZING talents and hearts of Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon!)

When we are first introduced to JaneandMaura, it’s clear that they are best friends and have a natural comfort with one another.  They share an intimacy and familiarity that you typically only find in female friendships.  In fact, it’s that very friendship that made Rizzoli and Isles a ratings runner from day 1!  (More on that in another post though: The Reason for RizzIsles’ Reign.)  This post is intended to explore who Jane and Maura are when we meet them, the transitions each of them undergo as individuals in the inaugural season, and how that impacts them as best friends and, what I would like to classify as, pseudo-sisters.

Meet Jane RizzoliIn one word, Jane is a badass!!  She has to be; she’s the only woman on the Boston Police Homicide Team (and also has two younger brothers to contest with).  Her intelligence, quick thinking, quick acting and brave, tough exterior give her the undeniable ability to act as a well-respected, invaluable member of the Homicide Department.  Those qualities also make her someone you wouldn’t want to cross, especially as a suspect in any homicide she’s investigating!  You will be caught. 

Under that tough girl, tomboy front, you quickly learn that she has a heart of gold and will do anything to protect and support her family and loved ones.  Jane’s need to be a constant pillar of strength oftentimes prevents her from letting her guard down and exposing vulnerability.  She’s more apt to clip off a sarcastic comment and get a laugh than truly allow her wall to come down.  She is the oldest of 3, and part of a very typical east coast, blue collar Italian family.  (I know how typical it is because it’s exactly like mine!! J)  Although her family may appear abrasive as they handle each other very directly and sarcastically, they are extremely tight knit!  They have a lot of fun together, meddle in each other’s lives and always come together in a time of need.

Meet Maura IslesMaura is immediately established as cultured, put together and incredibly intelligent as the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  You soon learn that she was adopted at birth and doesn’t know anything about her biological parents.  Her adoptive parents, however, raised her in a very proper, affluent environment which is still very apparent in her grace and general approach on life. 

Maura has a knack for simultaneously letting her brain jump 30 steps ahead to every possible outcome, while analyzing every detail in the current moment, and thinking back to past experiences and knowledge to help her piece together the clues in front of her.  In other words, she is quite literally a genius.  She has a great appreciation for the process of learning and discovering.  She recognizes that this trait can frustrate those around her as she refuses to make guesses, regardless of how educated they may be, and won’t share an opinion until she has ruled out all potential alternatives.  It’s also quickly apparent that despite her often-times awkward social encounters, she is an extremely caring, genuine and warm person, with a sweet child-like innocence.

As with any strong, mature adult, the Season 1 events in Jane’s and Maura’s lives impact who they are and how they function both as individuals and as best friends. 
Here are some of the key events and their apparent impact that take place for each woman this season…

1.)  HOYT aka “The Surgeon” Charles Hoyt is a sociopathic serial killer who is already imprisoned when we meet him.  Through various flashbacks we soon learn that not only has he committed horrific, unthinkable murders, but he has also become infatuated with Jane and has marked her as his most worthy adversary.  She is, after all, the only person he has ever targeted who has lived beyond the encounter… and she has the scars to prove it – physically and emotionally. 

His character is introduced in the Pilot and recurs a 2nd time in this Season.  Each time you see more and more of Jane’s vulnerability and unadulterated fear of this monster.  We also get to see her true courage as she, once again, is alive to tell the story after fighting him off when he escapes custody and abducts her.  Her good nature gets the best of her though; she is not a cold blooded killer and can’t bring herself to kill this unarmed, already injured person laying at her feet.  Her restraint speaks volumes to her character and integrity.

The JaM:  Hoyt’s presence and storyline gave us as the audience an opportunity to see how close JaM truly are, both in terms of an established intimacy and in terms of the lengths they’ll go to in protection of the other. 

Here are a few examples of how:

(a) At the Crime Scene in the beginning of the Pilot:  As soon as Jane connects the dots and realizes that it mocks his style, her fear is tangible.  Maura takes this opportunity to jump in and berate Korsak for not warning them, especially Jane, that this is what they were walking in to.

(b) Both times Hoyt comes up, Jane doesn’t sleep in fear that he’ll come for her or send someone for her.  Even though there are patrol cars outside her apartment, Maura’s presence is always one that grounds her. 

In the Pilot, Jane leaves her own apartment and goes to Maura’s in the middle of the night.  She didn’t seem to deliberate this decision, and Maura didn’t seem surprised in the least to see Jane at her door.  Maura helps settle Jane into the guest room, then climbs in bed with her and lays close.  Jane, in typical fashion, makes a sarcastic comment (“Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you’re attracted to me?”) in an effort to deflect the fear she is obviously trying to keep at bay.  Her courage escapes her though when there is a knock on the door, and then when they hear another random sound.  After Maura reassures her that it’s safe, Jane finally admits “I’ve never been so scared in all my life”.  That moment is both heartbreaking and heartwarming.  Not only does it scare and sadden you to know that someone so strong is so afraid, but it proves how much Jane trusts Maura to let her wall crumble so completely.

When Hoyt returns in 1.08 “I’m Your Boogie Man”, we get a similar glimpse into JaM’s friendship.  Maura insists on staying awake and forcing Jane to go to bed.  This encounter also results in a very memorable RizzIsles moment as Jane teaches Maura how to use her gun.  Time flashes forward a few hours and we see that Frost has joined Maura’s all-nighter, then Korsak arrives.  As Korsak and Frost metaphorically begin, in Maura’s words, “comparing the size of their penises”, Maura takes a very Mom-like role to quiet them so Jane isn’t woken up.

(c) Hoyt works his monster magic and gets into Maura’s head too… in a valiant effort to help Jane, Maura goes to the prison with Agent Dean to speak with Hoyt and learn from him.  She does a phenomenal job of keeping her cool and showing him she isn’t terrified of him.  At the end of the interview though, he makes a comment that haunts her: “That’s because you’re like me”.  We learn a lot about Maura’s childhood and adolescence in this episode because she takes her turn to let her wall crumble around her and shares some very deep, painful insights with Jane.  This is another scene that just hurts your heart and makes you want to hug her through your TV, but at the same time you’re grateful for it because you can see how much she relies on her best friend for support and validation.

Although Hoyt’s appearances are rooted very deeply in fear and create some great dramatic plot lines, I think one of the greatest things that come from his appearances is how much closer we get to Jane and Maura because of who they are and how much they mean to each other.

2.)  AGENT GABRIEL DEAN He comes onto the scene in the Pilot episode as a Federal Agent following the Hoyt case and tends to reappear anytime Hoyt does.  As an intelligent, mysterious, handsome stranger, both Jane and Maura find themselves attracted to him.  I guess I can see the allure that pulls both Jane and Maura toward Dean when he first arises.  In my opinion though, there isn’t enough chemistry there to make us really care about his character or to invest ourselves in a potential love story involving him.

The JaM: Meeting Dean let Jane and Maura tell us something very early on: they are NOT catty and competitive with one another!  They have a funny conversation about how one of them should date him, but their body language in that conversation and actions from that point forward tell us very clearly that a man is not something that can come between them.  He tends to gravitate more toward Jane so without even a conversation or second thought, Maura is no longer showing any interest in him.  So although I’d prefer for his tepid chemistry with Jane to be a passing thought, I’m grateful for his presence since he taught us a very important lesson about JaM.

3.)  THE FAIRFIELD FAMILY It’s a well-known fact that Maura was raised in an affluent environment.  Aside from her head-turning wardrobe, you don’t see this side of her much.  Episode 1.05 – Money for Nothing takes us there.  The victim’s brother turns out to be Maura’s ex-boyfriend who was almost “the one”.  She slips into her old world very naturally and can be perceived to be taking the victim’s side instead of trying to help the investigation move along.

The JaM:  This situation creates a few growth and learning opportunities for RizzIsles.

(a)  Jane is caught off guard in many respects; she gets frustrated when Maura isn’t supporting her in front of the family, and gets defensive that Maura is “slumming it” with them.  This tension leads to a few fights between them and a lot of passing remarks.  A conversation with Korsak helps Maura realize what Jane may not even know consciously: Jane needs to know that Maura has her back.  To prove this, Maura does as asked and gets information from her ex-boyfriend and immediately shares it with Jane.  Jane, still frustrated and upset, asks “Why you doin’ this?” to which Maura replies “Because I have your back”.  It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes a tense situation to bring sentiments like that to the surface, but that’s just one of the million examples of how REAL these characters are and how true their friendship is.

(b)  Maura takes Jane into her world as her plus one to Adam’s Memorial service.  At the end of the episode, Jane shows Maura more of her world by having beer at the Dirty Robber.  It’s amusing to watch how uncomfortable one can be out of their element, but also comforting to watch how hard they try to please their best friend and be part of that world.

(c)  JaM square away their differences and get back into their typical grove just in time; Maura doubts her judgment and abilities when the case is solved and she is shocked that she was ever in love with a killer and missed some clues in the beginning of the case.  As any good best friend does, Jane reassures her.

4.)  UNDERCOVER AT LESBIAN BARThe victim in 1.06 – “I Kissed a Girl” was killed outside of a lesbian bar.  In an effort to draw the killer out, Maura, Frost and Korsak create an online dating profile for Jane, and Jane and Maura collect DNA samples from a laundry list of suspects.  These scenes are hilarious and create the stage for a few really funny, interesting conversations between Maura and Jane.

The JaM:  Men may find this shocking – or even alluring, who knows – but girls often have the “what would it be like to be a lesbian?” conversation with their female best friend.  It’s something everyone has considered at one point or other (er, right? ;) ), and it’s safe to be that open and laugh about it with your best friend.  …especially after said best friend shows you the online dating profile she created for you!

This situation also gives Maura the rare opportunity to tap into her “Samantha-ness”.  (If you’re not a Sex and the City fan, #1 become one! J, #2 that means her sexuality and sensual side.)  Let’s face it, it’s no secret that our two leading ladies are freaking HOT (and, yes, have an INCREDIBLE chemistry that fuels the Rizzles Ship).  Sash gets to show her hotness a little more because of Maura’s style, but she REALLY got to tap into that in this episode!  Perhaps the most amusing part of Maura’s Samantha-ness coming out, is how Jane steps in as protective best friend and, literally, tries to cover her up.

5.)  COLIN & PADDY DOYLE Episode 1.09 – “The Beast in Me” brings a very interesting plot twist: the victim’s DNA profile proves that he is Maura’s half-brother.  This realization also leads to the discovery of who Maura’s biological father is: Paddy “The Executioner” Doyle.  Paddy is a big time Irish Mob Boss who has been off the radar for nearly 20 years.  Maura’s encounters with him boggle her mind in terms of questioning who she is (since the only two blood relatives she knows of are both criminals), finding out that he’s been keeping an eye on her for her entire life, and in the ethical decision she has to make to let him kill the guy who is probably coming after her next or not.

The JaM:  This engaging, heart-string-pulling story gives us further confirmation on something we should already know by now: Jane and Maura truly are pseudo-sisters and will do ANYTHING to protect and support one another.  It’s Jane’s turn to demonstrate that as she listens to Maura’s inner most thoughts, offers her assistance and keeps her distracted by including her in her own family. 

One of the most interesting conflicts we see is Jane deciding if she wants to tell Paddy who the killer was so he can “send a message” to protect Maura.  Helping a human being kill another human being obviously goes against the grain of who Jane is as a person, let alone as a homicide detective; yet she legitimately considers the option if it will truly save and preserve the life of her best friend.  I’m pretty sure I’d be considering the same thing!  Wouldn’t you?!  Well, in more true best friend fashion, she respects Maura's wishes and doesn't call Paddy.  It is implied later though that Korsak may have.  "You do what you have to do to protect family"... even when that means finding a loophole by having someone other than you make the call so you don't have to defy your best friend.

6.)  HELD HOSTAGE TOGETHERThe heart racing Season Finale mostly focuses on Jane, Maura and Frankie hiding in the autopsy room of the BPD Headquarters to steer clear of the gunmen who have taken over the building.  The most terrifying twist of this story is that Frankie’s life is in grave danger from taking two bullets to the vest when the gunmen first entered.  Maura must improvise and do everything she can to save his life and we all know how challenging it is for Maura to guess and not necessarily do things in the most effective manner.

The JaM:  There are many times in this episode where Jane and Maura are literally screaming at each other.  Ya know what they say though, right?  You are often the hardest on and the harshest toward those you love and trust most because of the fact that you trust that they will always be there.  This episode depicts that point very well.  It also illustrates how much Jane and Maura constantly challenge each other to be the best version of themselves they can be… perhaps that wasn’t demonstrated as they were yelling at each other, but it was definitely demonstrated in every one of Jane’s attempts to encourage Maura to keep trying new techniques to save Frankie and to trust herself.  Once again, it’s blatantly obvious that RizzIsles has an incredible level of respect and admiration for one another!

7.)  JANE SHOOTING HERSELF In an effort to escape headquarters and not get caught, Bobby Marino, the dirty cop, takes Jane hostage at gunpoint.  The SWAT Team doesn’t have a clear shot of him since he’s using Jane as a shield.  Jane takes matters into her own hands so the encounter can end faster and medical attention can be sent inside to Frankie… she struggles with him for control of the gun and shoots him – by shooting herself and the bullet going through her into him.

The JaM:  I’m sure we’ll learn more about this implication in Season 2, but Season 1 ended with Maura running out of the building toward Jane to help save her life…. WOW!

SEASON 1 FINALE left us in the balance, waiting to find out if Jane survives her injury, if Frankie received medical attention fast enough, and what the ripple effect of that horrendous experience would be…

Check back for an analysis of Season 2 for more insights!  In the meantime, please leave your thoughts, comments and insights to keep the conversation going!  J

…and here are some other posts to keep you thinking about R&I!