Monday, July 9, 2012
Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.01 -- "See One. Do One. Teach One."
Case: Hoyt’s apprentice is doing his work; Hoyt escapes and hunts Jane
RizzIsles: Maura does everything she can to be there for Jane as Hoyt stalks her; they’re both interested in Agent Dean
Maura: (Glancing up from the body at Jane) Hairline fracture. The nasal bone above the lateral nasal cartilage. It’s not disfiguring.
Jane: Can you pop this out for me?
Maura: Can’t you do something safe like yoga. Might hurt a little.
Jane: Okay. (Maura pops her nose back) OW! A little?!
Maura: Put some ice on it for the next 24 hours so you don’t look like Mike Tyson.
Angela: I hope Frankie Junior is okay out there.
Jane: He’s not after Frankie Junior. Don’t worry.
Angela: Your father is out there too.
Jane: What?! Why is Pop out there? Did you bring the dog too?!
Angela: Why would I bring the dog?
Jane: (To Maura as she answers the door in the middle of the night) Why do you always look like you’re about to do a photoshoot?
Jane: Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you’re attracted to me?
Jane: Did you ever like the same guy as your best friend?
Jane: Did you ever have a best friend?
Jane: You’d tell me if you were a cyborg, right?
Maura: (thinking) No, I don’t think I would.
Maura: I’m not seeing him (Dean).
Maura: Well, somebody should don’t you think?
Maura: Should we draw straws?
Jane: Couldn’t we just show him our tits and let him decide?
(Jane hears a sound and sits up)
Maura: It’s okay. (Reaches for Jane’s arm) It’s just Bass. Really. It’s okay.
Jane: I’ve never been so scared in all my life.
Jane: Ted Bundy!
Maura: That’s… 5 letters too many for that anagram.
Jane: How do you do that? Fine. Theodore Bundy.
Jane: If we take this body back now all we’ll find out is “yup she’s dead” and “yup, they killed her”. Please. Do this for me.
Jane: You told Agent Dean where we were, didn’t you?
Maura: I did.
Jane: Without telling me?
Maura: I’m sorry.
Jane: Really? You’re sorry? Because I treated a Senior Federal Agent like a perp. I tackled him, Maura. In a creek.
Maura: Well that’s unfortunate. But there is a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Jane: Yea. A fine, thin, blue line.
Other misc convo
Maura: (smirking) Did you actually tackle him?
Jane: Yes. Like a linebacker. Very professional.
Maura: (Laughs) Wow. You’re very brave.
Jane: No. I’m simply tired of being afraid.
(Jo Friday barks)
Jane: What? You have a turtle.
Maura: Well at least give her a bath.
(Creepy Halloween music rings from Jane’s phone)
Jane: God, Ma, give it a rest.
Maura: Um, what’s my ringtone?
(Funeral March plays from Jane’s phone)
Maura: (smirking) Nice. …and upbeat.
Maura: You should talk to your Mom.
Jane: She’s so mad at me because I won’t come home and sleep in my pink canopy bed.
Maura: I always wanted a canopy.
Jane: I wanted a horse. Please don’t tell me you always wanted to dissect dead people.
Maura: Okay, I won’t.
Maura: I thought you might need some help cleaning up.
Jane: Yea. Alright, um… let me get you some work clothes.
Maura: These are my work clothes. (Laughs at Jane’s look of contempt) What? (shoulder shimmy) You don’t like?
Maura: So. Where do you want me to start?
Jane: Come on.
Jane: Let’s go get a bloody mary. We always say we need to do something outside of a crime scene. This is a crime scene. Let’s go.
Maura: Great. But, um, dressed like that?
Jane: These are my going out clothes.