Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.07 -- "Born to Run"
Case: Individuals are being targeted during the Boston Marathon
RizzIsles: Jane and Maura are prevented from finishing their Marathon as they try to keep the shootings quiet to prevent mass-hysteria;
Jane: You seen Maura?
Frankie: Janey there’s 400,000 people here.
Rondo: (to Jane) I got something in my pocket for you!
Frankie: Oh yea?
(Pulls out MD 20/20)
(Maura walks over with her “sneakers” squeaking and P.U.K.E. on her tank top)
Maura: Oh hi! Sorry I’m late. I’m still getting used to these.
Jane: (looking at Maura’s sneakers) You didn’t tell me we were running as mallard ducks.
Maura: Well, I haven’t built up my foot muscles to the point where I can run barefoot.
Jane: We’ll chip in and buy you some shoes.
Maura: Well early humans ran very comfortably without shoes. Research has proven that the barefoot strike pattern is much less stressful.
Jane: You. Talking Google. Stressful.
Maura: (noticing Jane’s attire, hurt little voice) Where’s your matching outfit? (Jane lifts tshirt to reveal matching PUKE shirt) No no. We’re running for a charity. Professionals for Underprivileged Kids of Excellence. (excited) We’re a team!
Jane: Team PUKE?
Maura: Yes, that is an unfortunate acronym.
Frankie: At least you’re not a hot dog. Or a mustard.
Jane: Stay out of this. Look I said that I would do this because we said that we would do something together, but I am not running like Lady PUKE Gaga. No.
Maura: (getting a little emotional, upset, looking down) Oh. I’m sorry. I should’ve realized. Sorry. (turns away)
Jane: (walking around to see her) Holy crap! If you’re gonna cry on me-
Maura: No, I’m trying not to. It’s just that my amygdala and my lagbone gland have a connection that I can’t really control.
Jane: Honey, there is no way in hell that I’m taking this off. I’m already running 26 miles with cameltoe.
Frankie: WHOA! (turning away)
Maura: Could you at least just take off that baggy T? (stern look from Jane) Oh C’mon. I’ll let you walk up Heartbreak Hill.
Jane: Oh, I’m walking Heartbreak. You’re gonna have to do better than that.
Maura: Okay. Fine. Name it.
Jane: Next reddish brown stain. You call blood. Before the labs come in.
Maura: (disbelief) You want me to lie??
Jane: No I want you to state the obvious.
Maura: (sighing and uncomfortable) Hypothetically, based on the crime scene, I will determine whether it is possible to hypothesize that a stain is blood.
Jane: I’ll take that as a yes. (Pulls off tshirt)
Frankie: 20 bucks says you cramp out by mile 10.
Jane: You’re on! (pulling shorts off to reveal running spandex) Double or nothing says I run it like this.
Maura: I have some running skins for you too.
Jane: Don’t push it.
Maura: Ya know, my feet are hurting. So I think I’m gonna take mine off anyway.
Maura: You excited?
Jane: (sarcastically) Ecstatic.
Maura: You will be. Runners high kicks in around mile 12. Endorphins are comparable to orgasm.
Jane: People are already sweating on me.
Maura: Strike. Forefoot. Toes. Strike. Forefoot. Toes.
Jane: That’s enough Jog Whisperer. (runs ahead)
Maura: (enthusiastically) That’s it! Great stride!
(RizzIsles encounter runner down; Maura starts CPR – blood fills his mouth and goes running down his face)
Kid working race: Blood!
Maura: Yup, blood. Definitely not a reddish brown stain.
Jane: Maura, this doesn’t count.
(Kid working race tries talking into walkie about runner being shot)
Kid: It’s my responsibility to alert the authorities.
Jane: (pulling badge out of tank) I am the authorities.
Kid: Not mine. I’m responsible for mile 3-5.
Maura: You want me to pretend he’s alive? No. I will not be an accessory to lying.
Jane: What happens when there’s 200,000 people in the city and they find out that this guy has been run down and there’s a shooter on the loose?!
Maura: Mass panic. 346 pilgrims were trampled to death during a ritual at Ramial Jamrian because somebody panicked.
Jane: Exactly. So you gonna, “Ramialla jimjam” right here. Do you want that?
(Jane on the phone with Korsak explaining the situation and trying to figure out what’s going on)
Maura: (annoyed) You’re guessing.
Jane: I’m making a conclusion based on years of experience and training. (Back to Korsak) Looks like a close contact wound.
Maura: I’ll verify that when I do my autopsy.
(More strategy talk with Korsak)
Korsak: You’re gonna have to work it from there. Can you get Dr. Isles on board?
Jane: Yea she’s not going anywhere.
Maura: (to Race Official) I’ll need a Coroner’s Van. I need to get this body to a morgue immediately.
Jane: Maura. You’re gonna have to do this here in the field.
Maura: (laughing) You’re kidding, right? (still laughing, Jane stone serious) This body’s evidence. I--
Jane: Maura, we just sat in the ambulance and didn’t move. So you’re gonna spend the next 6 hours crawling back to the lab while our killer slips away?!
Maura: I come--. Jane--. Sure, Jane. (jokingly) Just give me a leatherman’s and some duct tape and I’m ready to go.
Race Guy: I got those both right here.
Jane: K, good. Here autopsy table. Look, scrubs. What else do you need?
(Communicating with Frost and Korsak about shot sounds)
Jane: Could it have been a random stray bullet?
Maura: That’s happened before. Dennis Rainey, um, got hit by a stray in 1978. He ran the last 16 miles of the Grand Valley Marathon with a bullet lodged in his head.
Jane: Of course you would know that.
Maura: (adjusting a box cutter, sarcastically) Wow. These are very sophisticated tools. I don’t miss my lab at all.
Jane: Is that sarcasm?
Maura: I think so.
Jane: Yes, technically you’re free to go. But I don’t know why you would. You have a hell of a Cop Eye.
Jane: Better than any Nature Scout I’ve ever seen.
Maura: Because she doesn’t know any.
Jane: Let’s not get crazy with the Ma’am, ok?! I’m not exactly wearing mom-jeans here.
(Race kid sitting in chair terrified and silent)
Frost: Uniform brought in this kid. He’s got an evidence bag with a bullet in it but can’t get him to say anything. (to kid, slowly) Is that the bullet from the first victim?
Kid: How many are there?! Please don’t tell Detective Rizzoli I talked.
Korsak: Give me the bullet kid. You can talk to me.
Kid: She said that if I talked to anyone bad things would happen.
Korsak: It’s okay kid, you can talk to me.
Cavanagh: (sternly) Sit down until I say you can go.
Kid: (obligingly) Okay.
Cavanagh: The only one you talk to is him (pointing to Korsak) or me. Got it?
Race Guy: Okay. If this thing blows up, bomb’s in your hands.
Jane: (holds up hands to show scars) Wouldn’t be the first time.
Maura: Wow. Picking a fight. With the Governor. You’re fearless.
Jane: No I’m not.
Maura: C’mon Jane. Maybe we just stop the race.
Jane: Maura we stop this race we send the message to thousands of people that we give in to fear. We don’t give in to fear.
Maura: (softer) Okay, I understand. If we do then we just end up dying a little bit every day. Which, metabolically speaking, we do anyway--
Jane: Maura! Ugh. Really?!
Jane: (to Rondo) So you saw a hot girl running in shorts? You’re a hero.
Korsak: Open it.
Frost: Good idea Korsak. (holds up badge, waves it in front of screen) Abracadabra. Hm. Your way didn’t work.
Jane: Part of me wants to let the killer finish.
Jane: 25 POINT 5?
Maura: Well based on my calculations--
Jane: (grabbing her arm) Please tell me later.
Korsak: You need backup.
Jane: No, it will take too long. (looking at Maura) I got an idea for backup.
Cavanagh: You could’ve told me Rizzoli can run her ass off.
Korsak: I don’t know, I was kinda looking forward to counting pencils with you. This is stressful.
(running their own personal marathon at night)
Maura: How’s the heel?
Jane: It’s good. I think that runners high is kicking in. (pause) Maybe you should run with Garvey next year.
Maura: HA! Are you kidding? I’m not the one he wants to chase. (noticing Jane’s stride) You wanna race, huh?
Jane: Now I wanna race. I was born to run!
(RizzIsles sprint through tape being held up by Mama and Pop Rizzoli; laughing and hugs all around)