Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.07 -- "Born to Run"


Case: Individuals are being targeted during the Boston Marathon
RizzIsles: Jane and Maura are prevented from finishing their Marathon as they try to keep the shootings quiet to prevent mass-hysteria;

Jane: You seen Maura?
Frankie: Janey there’s 400,000 people here.


Rondo: (to Jane) I got something in my pocket for you!
Frankie: Oh yea?
(Pulls out MD 20/20)


(Maura walks over with her “sneakers” squeaking and P.U.K.E. on her tank top)
Maura: Oh hi!  Sorry I’m late.  I’m still getting used to these.
Jane: (looking at Maura’s sneakers)  You didn’t tell me we were running as mallard ducks.
Maura: Well, I haven’t built up my foot muscles to the point where I can run barefoot.
Jane: We’ll chip in and buy you some shoes.
Maura: Well early humans ran very comfortably without shoes.  Research has proven that the barefoot strike pattern is much less stressful.
Jane: You.  Talking Google.  Stressful.


Maura: (noticing Jane’s attire, hurt little voice)  Where’s your matching outfit?  (Jane lifts tshirt to reveal matching PUKE shirt)  No no.  We’re running for a charity.  Professionals for Underprivileged Kids of Excellence.  (excited)  We’re a team!
Jane: Team PUKE?
Maura: Yes, that is an unfortunate acronym.
Frankie:  At least you’re not a hot dog.  Or a mustard.
Jane: Stay out of this.  Look I said that I would do this because we said that we would do something together, but I am not running like Lady PUKE Gaga.   No.
Maura: (getting a little emotional, upset, looking down)  Oh.  I’m sorry.  I should’ve realized.  Sorry.  (turns away)
Jane: (walking around to see her)  Holy crap!  If you’re gonna cry on me-
Maura: No, I’m trying not to.  It’s just that my amygdala and my lagbone gland have a connection that I can’t really control.
Jane: Honey, there is no way in hell that I’m taking this off.  I’m already running 26 miles with cameltoe.
Frankie: WHOA! (turning away)
Maura: Could you at least just take off that baggy T?  (stern look from Jane)  Oh C’mon.  I’ll let you walk up Heartbreak Hill.
Jane: Oh, I’m walking Heartbreak.  You’re gonna have to do better than that.
Maura: Okay.  Fine.  Name it.
Jane: Next reddish brown stain.  You call blood.  Before the labs come in.
Maura: (disbelief)  You want me to lie??
Jane: No I want you to state the obvious.
Maura: (sighing and uncomfortable)  Hypothetically, based on the crime scene, I will determine whether it is possible to hypothesize that a stain is blood.
Jane: I’ll take that as a yes.  (Pulls off tshirt)
Frankie:  20 bucks says you cramp out by mile 10.
Jane: You’re on! (pulling shorts off to reveal running spandex)  Double or nothing says I run it like this.
Maura: I have some running skins for you too.
Jane: Don’t push it.
Maura: Ya know, my feet are hurting.  So I think I’m gonna take mine off anyway.


Maura: You excited?
Jane: (sarcastically)  Ecstatic.
Maura: You will be.  Runners high kicks in around mile 12.  Endorphins are comparable to orgasm.
Jane: People are already sweating on me.


Maura: Strike.  Forefoot.  Toes.  Strike.  Forefoot.  Toes.
Jane: That’s enough Jog Whisperer.  (runs ahead)
Maura: (enthusiastically)  That’s it!  Great stride!


(RizzIsles encounter runner down; Maura starts CPR – blood fills his mouth and goes running down his face)
Kid working race:  Blood!
Maura: Yup, blood.  Definitely not a reddish brown stain.
Jane: Maura, this doesn’t count.


(Kid working race tries talking into walkie about runner being shot)
Kid: It’s my responsibility to alert the authorities.
Jane: (pulling badge out of tank)  I am the authorities.
Kid: Not mine.  I’m responsible for mile 3-5.


Maura: You want me to pretend he’s alive?  No.  I will not be an accessory to lying.


Jane: What happens when there’s 200,000 people in the city and they find out that this guy has been run down and there’s a shooter on the loose?!
Maura: Mass panic.  346 pilgrims were trampled to death during a ritual at Ramial Jamrian because somebody panicked.
Jane: Exactly.  So you gonna, “Ramialla jimjam” right here.  Do you want that?


(Jane on the phone with Korsak explaining the situation and trying to figure out what’s going on)
Maura:  (annoyed)  You’re guessing.
Jane: I’m making a conclusion based on years of experience and training.  (Back to Korsak)  Looks like a close contact wound.
Maura: I’ll verify that when I do my autopsy.
Jane: Ssh.
(More strategy talk with Korsak)
Korsak:  You’re gonna have to work it from there.  Can you get Dr. Isles on board?
Jane: Yea she’s not going anywhere.


Maura: (to Race Official)  I’ll need a Coroner’s Van.  I need to get this body to a morgue immediately.
Jane: Maura.  You’re gonna have to do this here in the field.
Maura: (laughing)  You’re kidding, right?  (still laughing, Jane stone serious)  This body’s evidence.  I--
Jane: Maura, we just sat in the ambulance and didn’t move.  So you’re gonna spend the next 6 hours crawling back to the lab while our killer slips away?!
Maura: I come--.  Jane--.  Sure, Jane.  (jokingly)  Just give me a leatherman’s and some duct tape and I’m ready to go.
Race Guy: I got those both right here.
Jane: K, good.  Here autopsy table.  Look, scrubs.  What else do you need?


(Communicating with Frost and Korsak about shot sounds)
Jane: Could it have been a random stray bullet?
Maura: That’s happened before.  Dennis Rainey, um, got hit by a stray in 1978.  He ran the last 16 miles of the Grand Valley Marathon with a bullet lodged in his head.
Jane: Of course you would know that.


Maura: (adjusting a box cutter, sarcastically)  Wow.  These are very sophisticated tools.  I don’t miss my lab at all.
Jane: Is that sarcasm?
Maura: I think so.


Jane: Yes, technically you’re free to go.  But I don’t know why you would.  You have a hell of a Cop Eye.
Kid: Really?
Jane: Better than any Nature Scout I’ve ever seen.
Maura: Because she doesn’t know any.


Jane: Let’s not get crazy with the Ma’am, ok?!  I’m not exactly wearing mom-jeans here.


(Race kid sitting in chair terrified and silent)
Frost:  Uniform brought in this kid.  He’s got an evidence bag with a bullet in it but can’t get him to say anything.  (to kid, slowly)   Is that the bullet from the first victim?
Kid: How many are there?!  Please don’t tell Detective Rizzoli I talked.
Korsak:  Give me the bullet kid.  You can talk to me.
Kid: She said that if I talked to anyone bad things would happen.
Korsak:  It’s okay kid, you can talk to me.
Cavanagh:  (sternly)  Sit down until I say you can go.
Kid: (obligingly)  Okay.
Cavanagh:  The only one you talk to is him (pointing to Korsak) or me.  Got it?


Race Guy: Okay.  If this thing blows up, bomb’s in your hands.
Jane: (holds up hands to show scars)  Wouldn’t be the first time.


Maura: Wow.  Picking a fight.  With the Governor.  You’re fearless.
Jane: No I’m not.
Maura: C’mon Jane.  Maybe we just stop the race.
Jane: Maura we stop this race we send the message to thousands of people that we give in to fear.  We don’t give in to fear. 
Maura: (softer)  Okay, I understand.  If we do then we just end up dying a little bit every day.  Which, metabolically speaking, we do anyway--
Jane: Maura!  Ugh.  Really?!


Jane: (to Rondo)  So you saw a hot girl running in shorts?  You’re a hero.


Korsak:  Open it.
Frost:  Good idea Korsak.  (holds up badge, waves it in front of screen)  Abracadabra.  Hm.  Your way didn’t work.


Jane: Part of me wants to let the killer finish.


Jane: 25 POINT 5?
Maura: Well based on my calculations--
Jane: (grabbing her arm)  Please tell me later.


Korsak:  You need backup.
Jane: No, it will take too long.  (looking at Maura)  I got an idea for backup.


Cavanagh: You could’ve told me Rizzoli can run her ass off.
Korsak:  I don’t know, I was kinda looking forward to counting pencils with you.  This is stressful.


(running their own personal marathon at night)
Maura: How’s the heel?
Jane: It’s good.  I think that runners high is kicking in.  (pause)  Maybe you should run with Garvey next year.
Maura: HA!  Are you kidding?  I’m not the one he wants to chase.  (noticing Jane’s stride)  You wanna race, huh?
Jane: Now I wanna race.  I was born to run!
(RizzIsles sprint through tape being held up by Mama and Pop Rizzoli; laughing and hugs all around)








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