Monday, July 9, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 3.03 -- "This is How a Heart Breaks"

Case:  Emotionally tortured homeless vets and the “street artist”
RizzIsles:  Casey is back in town and didn’t tell Jane; Maura gets a bogus ticket for graffiti with “The Zombie”

Maura: This is truly magnificent.
Angela: I don’t know what to say.
Jane: I do.  Yuck!  Cavanaugh is gonna kill you for dragging this hunk of junk in here.
Maura: This is a Gio Dupont original.
Angela: I should’ve brought you to more museums.  Maybe then you’d appreciate art!
Jane: A decomposing Pinto is art?

Jane: Ugh.  I hate taggers!
Maura: It’s not tagging.  It’s graffiti.
Jane: Same thing.
Maura: No it is not.  WOW.  What a powerful piece of street art!
Jane: What a powerful example of felony vandalism.
Maura: Jane, this IS contemporary art.
Jane: Says the woman who paid $50,000 for old Pinto parts.
Maura: (laughing) Okay, Bangsi Street Art starts at $100,000.  You don’t know who that is?
Jane: Yes I do.  He’s an Urban Artist and I wouldn’t pay $50,000 for his Pinto parts either.  Frankie, come take pictures of all this VANDALISM for the Graffiti Task Force, alright?

(In response to a Street Artist announcing his Art Show)
Maura: Detective Rizzoli would want to attend that.  She’s a budding art enthusiast.
Frost: Oh, for real?
Jane: For not real.  Go help Sergeant Korsak.

Maura: Sharp force trauma.  Chop wounds, puncture wounds.
Jane: Hey look at you!  Bold!  Ready to call the weapons? 
Frost: Thinking two weapons?
Korsak: Maybe two killers.
Jane: But only one set of shoe prints.  (Exasperated glance from Maura)  Right.  Those couldn’t possibly be bloody foot prints.

(Dead guy gets an erection in the body bag while Maura is checking for a pulse)
Jane: (horrified and backing away) Maura.  MAURA.
Maura: What?!
Jane: (points at erection)
Maura: (reaches in to check it) His penis has a pulse!
Jane: Oh my God!  He’s alive!

Jane: EMTs are on their way.  Maura, do something.
Maura: Someone needs to perform a treacho-thicotomy.
Jane: Oh.  What about you?!  You’re here, you can do it.
Maura: Find me a tube.
Jane: Where?
Maura: In the drawer.
Jane: You have a lot of drawers.

Maura: I hate working on live people.  What if I kill him again?

Jane: Well.  That was exciting!
Maura: You think we should bump fists?  (laughing and bumping fists)  It’s nice to save someone that handsome.
Jane: What?  If he was ugly you’d have let him die?
Maura: Of course not.
Jane: Alright, let’s get back to this guy.  Oh and Maura, make sure he doesn’t have a pulse first.

Maura: The cute boy with the erection is being discharged from the hospital.  He sent me these orchids.
Jane: Good.  I wish him and his wang a speedy recovery.

Jane: I’ve been waiting for him to get back from Afghanistan.
Maura: Well, what’d he say?
Jane: Good to see you.
Maura: Uh oh.  That’s bad.
Jane: (hitting her with a pillow) Maura.

Jane: He has our suspect in interrog— I can’t focus!
Maura: Go interrogate.  Studies show that the best antidote for heartbreak is distraction.
Jane: Okay.  The only reason I’m going is because if I don’t I’m afraid I’m going to spend the rest of my life curled up in the fetal position on your couch, and your couch blows.

Maura: You’re fixated on Casey.  Why don’t you just go talk to him?
Jane: I’d rather juggle your scalpels.

Jane: Can you please distract me with some sort of science mumbo jumbo?

Maura: Our medical miracle is here to thank us.  Come on.
Jane: Ugh.  I’m keeping my distance.  I’m afraid of that erection.

(Maura leans in close to hug the medical miracle)
Jane: Are you checking his pulse?

(Jane’s CI checks out Angela as she walks away)
Rondo: I see the applebottom doesn’t fall far from the tree!

(The Zombie asks what’s the craziest thing she’s ever done)
Maura: I rode nude on a horse in an equine dressage event.

Angela: I wish you would confide in me.  I’m right here.
Jane: Really?
Angela: Really.
Jane: I’m thinking about becoming a nun.  (leans in for a Mom Hug)

Jane: Why would you tell my mother about Casey?
Maura: I’m sorry.  Jane look!  (Shoves violation for tagging at her)
Jane: Oh, okay, no problem.  Not mad.  Why don’t you tell her I got a vibrator too?

Jane: Never date a zombie. They have no respect for the law.

Jane: Someone who commits felonies who can’t keep her mouth shut.  That’s great.

(In response to another M.E. interrupting their conversation)
Jane: Oh that's okay, we were just discussing the case of the love sick, blabber mouth tagger.

Jane: Maybe that's why he was in the alley.  This is a street beef.
Maura: Is that a food truck?

Frost: Watch yourself.
Frankie: Even with a warrant?
Frost: Yea.  When he swings that Tomahawk at your head just wave that piece of paper.

(The Zombie steps out from behind the counter nude)
Maura: Wow.  You really do have good circulation.

Maura: Oh!  I forgot to tell you.  He sculpts in the nude.
Jane: I want to hear everything!  …after we catch the tomahawk killer.

(Maura takes a deep breath over the body)
Jane: Let me guess.  He smells.
Maura: Yes!  I really am preoccupied.  Don’t you smell it?!  It’s acidic acid.
Jane: Huh.  Cool?

Maura: Martha Stewart flourished in jail.  But she was in a minimum security prison.  Where do taggers go?

Jane: Oh, I forgot something.  The summons Frankie wrote you was a fake.  You can wear your McQueen on your next date with The Zombie.

Maura: Wait, why did you let me suffer?
Jane: I’m trying to scare you straight!
Maura: I won’t ever tag again.
Jane: Don’t gossip with my mother!
Maura: That too.

Jane: Note to self.  Always get rid of the murder weapon.

Jane: Let’s go do something crazy.
Maura: You feel like tagging?
Jane: (laughing) No!  God, no!  Not that crazy.
Maura: Oh, so you mean like graham crackers and can of frosting crazy.
Jane: And a box of Shiraz.
Maura: It’s a little too peppery and full bodied.
Jane: Work with me.

What was your favorite line/scene/quote from this episode?  Please let me know if I missed it so I can include it too! :) Happy RizzIsles obsessing!!

GIFs not mine > I save awesome stuff after I reblog it

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