Monday, July 9, 2012
Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.03 -- "Sympathy for The Devil"
Case: A boy dies from an apparent exorcism by his mother and Church
RizzIsles: Jane finally starts to give in to the Grant thing; A lot of very typical RizzIsles banter, conversations and laughing.
Angela: We’re not leaving until we find something we both like.
Jane: Did you bring food and water?
Angela: Every girl needs an LBD.
Jane: Not me. I… got vaccinated.
Jane: Ma, where am I gonna wear this? A murder at the Boston Pops?
Jane: I wonder if he has a satellite for news vans. He’s not a cop, he’s a police officer. He’s a climber. He’s an ass.
Maura: Well, he’s got a lot of pulp.
Jane: Juice. We say a guy’s got juice.
Maura: Well you’re going to be drinking yours out of a sippy cup if you don’t lower your voice.
(After annoying Jane, Grant walks away)
Maura: (sarcastically) That went well.
Jane: At recess he used to yell out “Roly Poly Rizzoli eats cannoli”.
Maura: Aww. You were overweight?
Jane: No. I was athletic. Maybe I was a little chunky. Why? What’d they call you?
Maura: (singing/chanting) Maura the bor-a. They meant boring but it doesn’t rhyme.
Maura: Crime lab confirmed the presence of candlewax.
Maura: Hold your questions. These dark particles? Those are burned feathers.
Jane: Okay let me guess… he was smothered with a burning down pillow while he drank candle wax.
Jane: Maura, I know it makes you break out into hives if you have to guess. But I need a theory. Just one.
Maura: The medical evidence is consistent with what I would expect to find if the victim went through an exorcism.
Jane: He was killed by an exorcism?
Maura: I didn’t say that.
(Maura speaks in Creole to the mother of the victim)
Maura: Exorcisms are very powerful.
Jane: Is that what she said?
Jane: Is that what you said?
(Maura explains the conversation that actually took place)
Jane: I can Google too.
Maura: A grand boo boo.
Jane: I said I know.
Maura: Oh you knew what that robe was called?
Jane: A boo boo?
Waitress: I have a fresh batch of blondies, my mother’s recipe. Want one?
Korsack: Don’t want to insult your mother.
Jane: I will insult your mother if it will keep my ass smaller.
Jane: Hey do you have Matt’s autopsy report?
Maura: Yes but I’m waiting on toxin micros, but I can tell you this conclusively, it was not a natural death.
Jane: Really? You could knock me over with a chicken feather.
Maura: What’s that?
Jane: Want some?
Maura: Is that okay?
Maura: What is that white substance?
Maura: Like downy particles of cotton?
Jane: It’s marshmallow. (confused face from Maura) …and the brown substance is called peanut butter. It’s ground up, heavy, oily particles of peanuts. What they didn’t have that in your fancy boarding school?
Maura: It’s really good!
Maura: You’re not a true member until you have a nickname.
Jane: Yo, Dr. Death. J-Lo needs a cause of death, not a seminar on gangsta nicknames.
Maura: Well I’m not going to guess.
Jane: Well if you were to guess, hypothetically guess. What would be your guess? Hypothetically…
Maura: Haven’t you ever been scared of something?
Jane: Witches. My family went to Salem when I was little. I had to sleep with a nightlight.
Maura: See? You were very impressionable.
Jane: Why? What were you scared of?
Maura: Chromium bacterium vialactium.
Jane: What’s that?
Maura: Flesh eating bacteria… it gets into your ear and starts eating you from the inside out---
Jane: I got it.
Maura: It’s horrible.
Maura: You could’ve told me you had a warrant.
Frost: She didn’t. We didn’t have time.
Maura: You lied?
Jane: No. I said I was about to serve a warrant. I didn’t say when.
Maura: I spent two years in Decar in (something in French).
Frost: You were in Doctors without Borders?
Jane: Why can’t you just say that?
Jane: Damnit! I am late for dinner! My mom is gonna kill me.
Frost: You were firebombed, Jane. It’s a good excuse.
Jane: You don’t know my mother. Will you call her and tell her I’m on my way?
Angela: I need to know you’re taken care of.
Jane: By him?! Are you kidding?
Angela: He’s cute!
Jane: He’s not cute!
Angela: He’s very cute!
Jane: So what?!
Jane: You go!!
Angela: Be a girl!!
Jane: Why are you laughing?? Do I look stupid?
Maura: No! Are you kidding? Really, you don’t know?? You’re gorgeous, my friend.
Maura: Want some cheese?
Jane: Ew no! Not out of the dead fridge!
Jane: If she loves me so much why did she hand me off to that creep?
Maura: I don’t believe you think he’s a creep.
Jane: Well I do (smirking). I’ve known him since he was 5. You know he used to lisp?
Maura: (laughing) So?
Jane: SO! You get rid of guys if they have receding gums!
Maura: That’s true.
Maura: You’re always complaining that the guys you date don’t understand or like your job, and he respects you.
Maura: Really. You think he’s this political animal but it’s just that it comes out of him when he’s around you (smirking) because he wants to impress you. It’s mating behavior. I think it’s sweet.
Jane: I think you’re insane. I’m off to solve a murder.
Maura: Nightlight off or on?
Jane: On. I can’t wait til we solve this one.
(Maura arrives at Jane’s apartment in her pjs in the middle of the night)
Jane: Thank you. It’s in there.
Maura: There’s almost always explanations for these phenomenons.
Maura: Maybe the dog knocked the flowers over.
Jane: Maura, it’s 4 feet off the floor. (conceding) Ya know what? Maybe ghosts are real. Maybe I can pick the winning lottery numbers tomorrow. Maybe I am losing my mind.
Maura: I can do a brain scan tomorrow.
Jane: Thank you. Very helpful.
Jane: Can you type the genetics of the monkshood in Matt’s body and match it to the plant that it came from?
Jane: Can you lie about that?
Maura: No. I don’t lie.
Jane: It’s not a lie.
Maura: Yes it is. I know when it is. I start to hyperventilate.
Jane: It’s a white lie.
Maura: It’s still a lie.
Jane: Haven’t you ever lied to a guy and told him he was good when he wasn’t?
Jane: Do you like this shirt with this jacket?
Maura: Not really, no.