Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.05 -- "Money for Nothing"
Case: The victim is a member of a prominent Boston family who tries to get the “accident” buried
RizzIsles: An ex from Maura’s past shows up and we learn more about the lifestyle in which she grew up; Jane feels like Maura betrayed her; Jane and Maura fight about their differences and how easily Maura seems to fit into her old world
(Watching a young girl and guy flirt while they stretch out)
Jane: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Maura: Immediate attraction is pure narcissism.
Jane: Oh I don’t agree. Look, they’re talking about his, t-shirt.
Maura: It’s quite a lot of effort to attract a mate.
Jane: That right there is the beginning of true love.
Maura: People are attracted to people who are attracted to them.
(Guy jogs over and kisses the guy the girl was flirting with – Maura watches then laughs)
Jane: Well, there goes that theory.
Maura: Something tells me we’re not getting in much of a run.
(Simultaneously answering phones)
Officer on scene: Couldn’t find an ID.
(Maura unzips bag)
Maura: We don’t need an ID.
Jane: (kneeling down) Maura. You know him? Oh my God, I’m so sorry.
Maura: That’s Adam Fairfield. I was involved with his brother, Garret.
Jane: Of THE Fairfields? (Maura nods) Was it serious?
Maura: I was 20. Everything felt serious.
Jane: Do you want to go with me when I notify the family?
Maura: No… but I will. I owe ‘em that.
(Gets out of car at Fairfield Mansion)
Jane: Holy crap.
Maura: Castle in Scotland is much bigger. Place on the Cape is beautiful too.
Jane: You could’ve been a Fairfield. How did we not know that?!
Maura: Would you stop saying that?!
Maura: He’s always liked the finer things in life.
Jane: Yea, he liked you.
Maura: Jane, can’t this wait?
Jane: (in disbelief) No.
Jane: (cutting off the obnoxious lawyer) –that we get statements as quickly as possible. Isn’t that right, Maura?
Maura: I’m sure the family will be happy to give statements as soon as they’re ready. I don’t even have a cause of death. We should give them their space.
Angela: It cured Carla Talucci’s colitis.
Frankie: Carla Talucci? The only woman who actually fell for the Nigerian Bank Scam?
Angela: Take a bottle on me. Take it 3xs a day with meals. It will change your life.
(More info on the juice from Angela)
Angela: Take this to Jane. Maybe it will help both of you with your irritability.
Jane: Why are you doing the autopsy on a Sunday? They cancel all the kundalini, pitalau, ricu yoga classes.
Maura: Kundalini is sacred energy work. Pitalau is a savory rice dish and I’m pretty sure you made up that last word.
Jane: Oh I’m sorry I’m not as educated as you and your deluxe friends.
Jane: Thanks for the support with them by the way!
Maura: Their brother just died. I’m sorry I couldn’t stand there and let you just badger his family.
Jane: Badger?! Is that how you describe how I do my job? And since when do you rush the science?!
Maura: I’m not rushing anything.
Jane: You’re scrambling to finish the autopsy.
Maura: The Governor called; he’d like the reports right away.
Jane: Of course he did. Did you have a nice chat? Maybe tonight you can attend the opera with some Senators then afterward go out on the veranda and smoke big rolled up wads of hundreds.
Maura: These people are not the enemy.
Jane: Neither was Columbus. Tell that to the Native Americans who were killed with Small Pox.
Maura: The Fairfields helped build this city.
Jane: My grandfather was an ironworker. HE helped build this city.
Maura: What are we arguing about here? History? Or are you just mad at me for who my friends are?
Jane: This is about work. I’ve just never seen you hugging suspects before.
Maura: We don’t even know what happened here. If this was an accidental drowning, there are no suspects.
Jane: So you’re hoping it was an accident?
Maura: Are you hoping it was a murder?
Jane: I’m doing my job like I always do. Why don’t you yours?
Maura: I am. And as the Medical Examiner, it is MY job to determine the cause and the manner of death. So I’ll tell you whether there’s a case here, or not.
Jane: Maybe I’ll just figure it out for myself.
Frost: (laughing) This is great.
Frost: Our suspects. I’ve never seen so many rich, white faces. It’s CLUE! Jocelyn Fairfield, in the Parlor, with the knife.
Korsack: Cashmere. What this set him back? Couple’a hundred?
Maura: Well those are from Garret’s line. His sweaters start at, I don’t know, $1,000.
Korsack: What’s it made out of?! Spun platinum?!
Maura: The downy undercoat of cashmere goats.
Korsack: Hey doc. You wanna tell me why I’m really here on Jane’s case.
Maura: Oh well I thought I could get the benefit of your sailing experience.
Korsack: I got a little sunfish I threw on the back of the truck and take out to the cape.
Maura: Well it, it seems like the victim hit his head on the boat. Maybe he slipped and fell overboard. What’s your take?
Korsack: My take is that you’re the Chief Medical Examiner and it’s not your first floater.
Maura: It is my, uh, my 43rd. Yes, my 43rd.
Korsack: I’ve been a cop a long time. I know when people aren’t tellin’ me the whole story.
Maura: Jane’s mad at me.
Korsack: Oh boy…
Maura: She thinks I’m being biased because I’m acquainted with the family.
Korsack: Acquainted? I heard it was a little more than that.
Maura: It was.
Korsack: That’s not it though. When you grow up like Jane you’re gonna have an attitude about people who are entitled.
Maura: That’s a form of prejudice.
Korsack: Where people like me and Jane come from, we didn’t have a lot. But we had each other’s backs. Sounds to me like all Jane wants to know is do you have hers, or not?
Frankie: So Ma’s got a new job. (Putting juice bottle down) Selling that.
Jane: Carla Talucci?
Frankie: Can you have the Crime Lab run a test on it? I just wanna make sure she’s not gonna kill anybody.
Jane: (laughing) Yea, sure.
Jane: Big new, job hocking, anti-aging potion. Makes sense.
Obnoxious Lawyer: Well I’ve come a long way from there.
Jane: Maybe too far when you’re protecting rich bosses.
Maura: Preliminary autopsy report.
Frost: Why give that to us instead of Jane?
Korsack: Don’t go there.
Maura: …and the chef recommends you don’t chew them.
Korsack: You can’t chew?! And you pay for that?!
Waiter: …salad, DOS.
Maura: Dressing on the side.
Frost: It’s chick food. (off Maura’s face) Well, I--
Maura: No, you’re accurate. I do prefer my dressing on the side.
Jane: Hey. (holds up bag of chocolate) It’s got 24k gold flakes in it.
Maura: Are you making fun of me?
Jane: No. I thought it’d be fun to try.
(Annoyed glances exchanged)
Jane: (holding out bottle of juice Angela is selling) Will you run some tests on this, please?
Maura: What case?
Jane: “Is Jane’s mother poisoning the neighborhood?”
Maura: Uh oh. Sure.
Jane: So you gonna try the chocolate?
(Korsack walks in)
Maura: (picks up chocolate) Is this an apology? (smiling)
Jane: For what?
Korsack: Oh boy. (starts to walk away)
Jane: (to Korsack) Ah ah. You ask her.
Korsack: Jane thought maybe Garret would tell you the name of the woman his brother had lunch with before he died.
Maura: So, this is a bribe? Tell Jane, if she thinks that chocolate will induce me to use my personal relationship with Garret Fairfield she doesn’t know me very well.
Jane: Tell Maura that I didn’t realize I needed to bribe her with the hope diamond--
Korsack: My phone! Oh, I gotta take this. (walks out)
(RizzIsles glaring at each other)
Jane: You looked really at home in that world.
Maura: It’s where I’m from. It’s not where I chose to stay.
Jane: Well what are you doin down here slumming with us?
Maura: The same as you. I’m catching bad guys.
Jane: I need the job. You don’t.
Maura: Look, I want my life to have meaning and purpose. The same as you.
Jane: (defeatedly) Sounds good, Maura. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m not even sure whose side you’re on. (Walks out)
(Maura calls Jane from Garret’s car while he’s in a coffee shop)
Jane: Maura, I’m sorry.
Maura: No, it’s okay, listen. I don’t have a lot of time. Adam had a mistress. Vanessa DeWald.
Jane: Wh--, why you doin this?
Maura: Because I have your back.
(Stubborn Coast Guard guy won’t get out of the way)
Jane: You want kids?!
Maura: I would move.
Jane: Okay. You win. Blood on the boon, hit his head, he got disoriented. Fell overboard. It’s an accident. (Misc other conversations about the boat) Hey man, I’m cool. I can admit when I’m wrong. Call it an accident.
Maura: I wish I could. But it wasn’t an accident. Adam Fairfield was murdered.
Jane: …it’s kind of the perfect murder.
Maura: Except the imprints of the skull would match the weapon.
Jane: Which is 20,000 leagues under the sea.
Maura: (confused) No, that’s actually a reference to the unit of distance. Leagues, across the ocean. Not depth.
Jane: It’s at the bottom of the ocean. Do you have a plan of finding it?
Maura: Not a good one.
Jane: Wanna get a drink?
Maura: (sarcastically) Will it have gold flecks in it?
Jane: (smiling) No.
Maura: The Cabernet here is chalky.
Jane: (amused) Have a beer. It’s cold.
Maura: I don’t, drink beer.
Jane: You wanna tell me what happened with Garret?
Maura: There’s not much to tell. (Jane’s skeptical look; Maura readies herself) I loved that guy. You know when you’re so in love you feel like you took some kind of a substance?
Jane: Ohh, that’s just narcissism.
Maura: I brought you a present. (hands Jane invitation in an envelope)
Jane: Apology or a bribe? (Reads invitation) Maura this is tonight.
Maura: Yea, I wasn’t gonna go. But you wanted access to my deluxe friends, Sumner and Jocelyn. I want you to be my guest.
Jane: Won’t I embarrass you?
Maura: Probably. But haven’t I embarrassed you?
Jane: No…. more than half a dozen times.
(Maura laughs and hits her arm)
Jane: Cocktail dress required? Can’t I just go like this?
Maura: If you’re going to embarrass me, at least do it in the proper clothes. C’mon. I have most of my money tied up in charitable endowments, but not all.
Jane: I feel like I’m going to Junior Prom. (Maura laughs at her)
Jane: Okay, I think I’m getting a wedgie. C’mon.
Maura: Oh God. (Jane moves her to block her)
Jane: Just stand here.
Maura: Can’t you do this in the bathroom??
Jane: What? No! It’ll just take a second.
Jane: WOW! (Reaches in front of waiter to grab a second glass from the tray) Thanks! That is GOOD.
(Maura says the name of the champagne)
Jane: Uhh. Can’t get that at 7-11, can you? MAN. How much?
Maura: How much?! I don’t know.
Jane: A hundred bucks.
Maura: Maybe. (stuttering uncomfortably)
Jane: (double fisting and drinking) Hundred bucks a bottle. WOW.
Maura: A glass.
Jane: Really?? God, no wonder it’s so good. My mother would be trying to smuggle it home in her purse.
(Maura’s phone rings; hands Jane her glass)
Maura: Can you hold this?
(Jane can’t figure out how to drink from any of the 3 glasses in her hands)
(Garret talking about this being a memorial for his brother)
Maura: It’s a lovely gesture.
Jane: (mumbles in agreement while gulping the champagne)
(Maura looks her up and down in disbelief then rolls her eyes at her)
Jane: (mumbles “What” with a full mouth of champagne)
Maura: (whispers) Gimme that.
(Jane tries to hold onto the glass Maura is grabbing at)
Maura: Give it. To me. (walks toward dinner table)
Jane: I am hungry. (burps quietly)
(Dinner lid is lifted to reveal a whole fish on the plates)
Maura: Mmm. Branzino with a munie reduction.
Jane: (dry heaving) Ew. It’s looking at me like I personally put the hook in.
Jane: How am I supposed to eat that?
Maura: Use your fish knife. (Jane stares at her place setting confused) It’s next to the melon spoon. Second from the right. (Jane picks up the knife) Hold it like a pencil. (Demonstrating) Use the tip, to cut the backbone. Cut the tail. Place it on the side of the plate. Use this edge of the knife to remove the skin. Place it on top of the plate.
Jane: K, um, this is how we do it in my family. (Stabs fish with the knife; juice squirts all over her) OH! (Everyone turns to look; Maura smiles and keeps eating)
Maura: Okay. Just eat it. It’s delicious. (Jane makes disgusted face)
(Homicide team connects the dots for how Garret could have faked his alibi)
Jane: Maura, I’m sorry.
(Maura leaves, clearly upset; Jane goes downstairs to check on her)
Jane: You ok?
Maura: (shakes her head) Should’ve seen it.
Jane: You did. There’s a reason you didn’t commit to him after college. There is a reason that you’re holding back now. It’s called gut instinct.
Maura: (getting choked up) There were clues and I c--, I couldn’t put them together.
Jane: You did it. You did it subconsciously.
Maura: The oysters. That’s how I missed it. The oysters. And it was right in front of me! The whole time!
Jane: Okay. C’mon. I’ll take it from here. (walks around to comfort Maura)
Maura: I thought that Adam had asthma. But he was taking a drug to treat penabula emphysema. Which is why he couldn’t digest food. He wasn’t a smoker.
Jane: That is great for him.
Maura: The damage is called by a disorder called alpha one ditrispa deficiency.
Jane: (clearly confused and waiting for the dots to connect) Sweetie, I’m sorry. I don’t know why you’re telling me this.
Maura: It’s inherited. The illness that Adam had, all of the Fairfield children should have. But they don’t because Adam had a different father and that’s who carried the fatal gene. Adam was a half brother.
Jane: (brings champagne to the table at the Dirty Robber) Okay. Here, we go.
Maura: I’m not really in a champagne kind of a mood.
Jane: Good. It’s beer. I thought we would celebrate the simple things I life.
Maura: I don’t really drink beer.
Jane: That cause you never had, MY beer.
Maura: Okay. Well can we at least drink it YOUR way?
Jane: Yes. We can. Let’s get this right.
Maura: Okay, here we go. Cheers.
Jane: (drinking her beer) Hmm (gesturing for Maura to just drink it)
Maura: (drinks beer; surprised smile) That’s delicious!
Jane: Right?? Wait til you try a Spuckie!
Maura: (slightly concerned) I don’t know what that is but it sounds really….
Maura: Remember when you asked me why I was slumming?
Jane: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
Maura: (nods) Well now you know.