Monday, July 9, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 3.05 -- "Throwing Down the Gauntlet"

Case: Girl gets murdered trying to avenge her best friend’s rape and murder from a decade earlier
RizzIsles: Jane gets Maura to meet her birth mother; Maura and her birth mom click really well and it makes Maura very emotional.

(Angela watching a politician on tv)
Angela: You tell him Tom!  Sorry, was that too loud?
Maura: (laughing)  I like your enthusiasm.

Jane: Really?  Glitter Ma?
Angela: It’s festive!
Jane: It’s hard to clean up.

Jane: What do we have here??  (Grabs a scuba tank)  Maximum depth 180 feet?!  What are you James Cameron?  Maura, at least he’s certified.
Maura: (holding scuba goggles to her face) I haven’t had time to take the course.
Jane: (showcasing safari shoes)  And you’ll do that before or after your Outback Lady Walk?  (putting on a safari hat)  Are you also in the remake of “Out of Africa”?
Maura: Gimme that!

Giovanni: (walks in with a huge box) Hi, you look hot.  Nice hat.  You look hot too Jane.  You two ever decide to bat for the other team.
Jane: Not your Team.  What is that a surfboard?!

Jane: What is he doing here?
Angela: He’s helping me.
Jane: Helping you what?  Your car is outside.
(Giovanni unzips his jacket to reveal his t-shirt)
Jane: (reading) You want this dud.
Giovanni: It’s dude, Jane.  D-U-D.  Mrs. Rizz, you look hot.
Angela: Stop that or I’ll tell your mother.

Jane: That’s what all this is about.  You buying all this stuff… it’s about Hope isn’t it?
Maura: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jane: Oh, yes you do.  Whenever you get in a crisis you get on a first name basis with the UPS man.  Maura, it’s time to find her.
Maura: Only 65% of adopted children seek out their biological parents.  I’m in the other 35%.
Jane: (mumbles as she answers her phone) 35% having an identity crisis.

Jane: C’mon, we have a case.  Hey you can take your vest because the murder is in Franklin Park.
Giovanni: You got a murder in the Franklin Park Zoo.
Jane: Yea, why you got family there?
Giovanni: She’s so funny.  …and hot.

Maura: What’s there to talk about?  My birth mother was an unwed college student who went sneaking around with a Southie gangster.
Jane: That’s at least interesting.  My birth mother married the neighborhood plumber.  The only sneaking around she did was in Filene’s Basement.

Jane: Don’t you want to know anything about her?
Maura: (squeaking) No!
Jane: Oooo!  You!  You found her didn’t you?!  You did.  You’re gonna get the worst case of hives in your life if you lie.
Maura: I had her first name, her age, where she went to college, my birthdate.  I couldn’t help it.

Frost: I think Dr. Isles is going in.
Jane: She loves dumpster diving.

Jane: What are you doing?
Maura: (quickly closes laptop)  Checking the weather.
Jane: (snorts)
Maura: What?  I said checking the weather!
Jane: Okay, okay.  Jeeze.  Why aren’t you examining the body?
(Maura puts computer to side; Jane moves files to find drawing of her birth mother)
Jane: I knew it.  The weather?  Really?
Maura: It’s a daily weather forecast… on her Wikipedia page.
Jane: Whose page?  OH MY GOD!  Maura!  She looks just like you!

Jane: So she identified victims of genocide and saves women and children around the world.  Big deal.  You are just as accomplished, Maura.
Maura: No I’m not.  Paddy said she was brilliant.

Jane: It’s too bad she’s not local.  We can use her right about now.  …she’s probably very curious about you too. 
Maura: How can she be curious?  She doesn’t even know I exist.

Jane: (grabs computer screen) Wait a minute.
Maura: No, don’t.
Jane: Oh my God.  She moved back to Boston?!  C’mon, Maura.  I don’t believe in coincidences.  This is meant to be.
Maura: I’d be turning her world upside down.  For what?
Jane: (softly)  So she can have you in her life.  Okay?  Late is a million times better than never.
Maura: Not if it causes her pain.
Jane: Look at the pain you’re in.

Jane: C’mon.  Do the autopsy.  It’ll make you feel better.  (Pulling her off the couch)  C’mon.  C’mon.  March.

Jane: They had to bring in Sister Bitcher.  The Lord’s work.  That’s what they said when she hit me with a ruler because I misspelled “flamboyant”.
Maura: Why was the world “flamboyant” on a 2nd grade spelling test at a Catholic school?

Maura: She has a depressed skull fracture.
Jane: Must’ve been a hefty weapon.
Maura: No weapon.
Jane: So she just woke up this morning, after she brushed her teeth she thought, “gee my head hurts”?
Maura: No.  She has a contracu contusion from a massive fall.  Contracu means—
Jane: It’s not my first rodeo it means her head bounced around inside her skull.
Maura: After hitting a hard object.
Jane: So not a pillow.
Maura: It takes longer when you make jokes.
Jane: I would poke my eyes out with a scalpel if I didn’t make jokes.

Jane: You can get a print off that?
Maura: I’ve never done it.  I’ve only read about it in (hesitates) an article.  Written by a Dr. Hope Martin.
Jane: Perhaps we should call Dr. Hope Martin.
Maura: No!  I’ll just try myself.

Frost: Doc, you’re not going to.  (Maura cuts the finger off)  Yup.  You are.
Maura: You have to detach the finger to rehydrate the tissue.
(Frost falling toward the ground)
Frost: I’m just, tying my shoe.
Jane: Your shoes don’t have laces.  (laughing)  I think he passed out.

Jane: You only have one finger.  You can’t screw it up.
Maura: I only have one biological mother and I can’t screw that up.

Jane: Just face whatever it is that’s terrifying you.  Just face her.  This is the easiest way.
Maura: Okay.  Okay.  I’m going to do it.  I’m going to call her now.
Jane: Like now, now?
Maura: Yes, before I lose my nerve.
Jane: Okay, don’t you want to—
Maura: No no.  I’m perfectly calm.  I’m Dr Maura Isles.  The Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Ma--  (Dr Martin answers the phone; shoves phone at Jane)
Jane: (whispering)  No!  You have to do it!  (into the phone)  Hi, I am calling for Dr. Maura Isles, the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  Could you hold for her please?
Maura: (mouthing) I can’t!  I can’t!
Jane: I’m so sorry, I hate cell phones, don’t you?  Um, so, we are working on a very difficult homicide together; we’re trying to identify a Jane Doe.  Would you be willing to do a consult?  Yes a half hour would be just fine.  Thank you so much!
Maura: A half an hour?!  Are you out of your mind?!
Jane: You can do this.  Yes you can.  YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.

Giovanni: (Dancing with the pepper shaker) Put some pepper, pepper, pepper.  On your parlor cakes, cakes cakes.
Jane: Never do that again.

(Hope Martin makes her presence known by explaining the after taste a coffee stirrer leaves.  Angela introduces herself and Jane)
Jane: And this is Dr. Maura Isles.
Hope: What a pleasure.  I’m flattered that you would want a consult.
Maura: I’ve tried so many formulas.  Tetrodetoxin, glucose mezaline.
Hope: Dr. Isles, are you alright?
Maura: Why, because I’m talking too much, talking too fast and not making any sense?
Hope: You’re showing signs of vertacaria.
Angela: Oh you have hives.

(Hope shares the story of Maura dying as a baby after Maura’s questioning)
Maura: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.
Hope: I never talk about this.  I spent so many years trying to forget.  Maybe it’s because you’re a doctor.  I feel a strange kinship with you.
Maura: (whispering) Me too.

(To Giovanni after he calls her a cougar and growls at her)
Angela: You take one step closer and I’ll send your mother your body parts in a pie tin!

Jane: Maura!  That was so beautiful!  When are you going to tell her?
Maura: (crying) Never.  Never ever.

Maura: Isabella’s body was found in an old lady’s basement.  Did the old lady kill her?
Jane: Doubtful.
Maura: Doubtful.  So, she might have?
Jane: No.
Maura: Then why did you say doubtful?
Jane: I just wanted you to know what uncertainty felt like.
(Maura starts crying)
Jane: Oh my God!  Maura!  I’m sorry!
Maura: Everything makes me cry!  Adapasear tissue never makes me cry.

Maura: So she likes Manta Pucciano, Lebanese zucchini and science fiction.
Jane: She’s a soap mummy.
Maura: No, Hope.  My new… friend.

(Looking at an old picture)
Korsack: Would you ever wear a skirt, Frost?
Frost: Where is this going?

Maura: These are the DNA results.
Jane: Hm. Which Boston family would have a post-medieval suit of armor and need a nanny?  Hm.  Putting my thinking cap on.  Does the DNA belong to Tom McGregor?
Maura: How did you know?
Jane: I’m amazing too.

Maura: Can I try?
(Jane gives her a look)
Maura: You just did my test!
Jane: It’s guessing.  You’ll get hives.
Maura: It’s theorizing.

(Laughing as the nun leaves)
Maura: On the Angel’s Wings of Desire!  Are nuns supposed to read that?!

What was your favorite line/scene/quote from this episode?  Please let me know if I missed it so I can include it too! :) Happy RizzIsles obsessing!!

GIFs not mine > I save awesome stuff after I reblog

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your RizzIsles thoughts/insights/opinions here! :)