Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 3.10 -- "Melt My Heart to Stone"

Case: Women are being killed then covered in plaster to look like a statue

RizzIsles: The “Zombie” Dennis is back for business and wants to date Maura again; Maura is still angry that he never called and disappeared for 3 months; Jane works with new Homicide Detective, Riley and tries to deal with Lydia who is about to go into labor;  Maura’s life is suddenly threatened;

Maura: I think it would be cleaner if you’d just--

Jane: I think it’d be cleaner if you don’t make me hurt you.  Go back to your autopsy cave.

Maura: I can’t wait to see his face when he sees his new desk.  Now are you sure that Frankie has this in the sack?

Jane: In the bag, Maura!  Cavanaugh says it’s between him and someone from another unit.  It’s gotta be Frankie.

Maura: …and I’m worried about your mother too.  She’s knitting.

Jane: Oh yes, that is worrisome. 

Maura: I think it’s a baby blanket.  The yarn is a 50/50 cotton acrylic blend.

Jane: Okay, yes, now we do have a problem.  (mocks grabbing walkie on her shoulder)  Attention all units, be on the lookout for a woman who is so desperate to be a grandmother she is knitting a blanket for the baby of Lydia, the slut who slept with her ex-husband and her youngest son.

Maura: She’s worried about what kind of future that baby is gonna have.

Jane: And I’m not?  Lydia can barely tie her own shoes.

Maura: Oh!

Jane: (concerned) What?  Did you pull something?

Maura: I smell something!  Decomposition.

Jane: I cannot believe you can smell decomp in bronze.

Jane: Looks like the Venus de Milo.  (SHOCKED look from Maura)  I’ve been to the Louvre Dr. Snob.

Maura: (getting closer to victim in the statue)  She’s very cool.

Jane: A dead woman masquerading as a statue is “cool”?

Maura: No, the body, it’s cold.  And it’s exhibiting signs of delayed composition.

Jane: So she was frozen?

Maura: No, likely kept in cold storage.

Jane: So, refrigerated, not frozen.  Got that?

Maura: The difference between 32 and 333 degrees is enormous, Jane.

Angela: I think he should protest.

Jane: What’s he gonna do, walk around with a sign?

Maura: That could actually increase feelings of disappointment.  (silenced by Jane’s look)

Jane: Oh my God… what is he doing here?

Maura: Good question!

Angela: Isn’t he the really handsome guy you used to go out with?

Jane: (irritated) The one who never called?

(RizzIsles walking off after Maura turned down Dennis’ invite)

Jane: Oh it is going to be a long day.

Maura: (hastily) I’m fine.

Jane: No you’re not.  You like that idiot.

Maura: Ssh!  No, do not.

Jane: Oh please.  You so do too.  UGHH.

Maura: He disappears for 3 months and now I’m supposed to just drop everything to be a groupie at his book signing?!

Jane: I think you’d make a good groupie.  “Oh, Dennis will you release my inner winner?”  It’s good, you should go.

Maura: How about I release my inner bitch?!

Jane: Any guy who spends that much time grooming, is not someone you want to share a bathroom with.

Jane: How long was she kept in cold storage for before she was turned into a statue.

Maura: I can narrow it down to between 2 and 6 months.

Jane: Oh yes, that is narrow.  Can’t you find some freezer fuzz to help out?

Maura: You can store a body right above freezing temperatures indefinitely.  It took Dennis 3 months to take me out of cold storage.

Jane: Maura, let that jerk go.

Maura: I am trying.

Frost: What?  Make her work the open cases!  I’ll go.

Jane: That’s a good idea.  (yelling to Riley)  Detective Frost is going to go with you.

Frost: What?!

Jane: She’s homicide now.  Make it work.

Frost: Fine.  I am a professional.

Jane: Good.  Take Frankie with you too.  Remind him that he is a professional.

Cavanaugh: How’s it going?

Jane: Fantastic.  She’s fitting right in.

Cavanaugh: The head of the drug unit showed me her record.  Pretty impressive.  She’s got long term undercover.  She got big scores because of her work.

Jane: No, no.  She deserves a spot.  I don’t have a problem with her.

Cavanaugh: I’m glad to hear that Rizzoli.  She’s got almost as much potential as you.  But I’m NEVER gonna see another Jane Rizzoli.

Jane: Thank you sir.

Jane: (pacing in Maura’s office, Maura on her computer)  You think Cavanaugh was saying Frankie is going to get his gold badge?  Maura?  (poking)  Mauuurra.

Maura: Ow!  What was that for?

Jane: I hate to be ignored.

Maura: Dennis ignored me for 3 months.

Jane: (mock teenager voice)  Oh my god!  Like, he didn’t even text?!  You wanna hear busy?  Really?  Like, I’m supposed to be solving a serial murder.

Maura: I have never once had an inner monologue like that.

Jane: Okay.  (laughing)

Maura: Okay.  (gets up, closes computer)  Let’s go.  It starts in 15 minutes.

Jane: What starts?

Maura: The book signing.

Jane: The one you’re not going to?

Maura: I changed my mind.

Jane: I didn’t.

Maura: The lab results aren’t going to be back for 30 minutes and I haven’t taken a lunch break in 3 years.

Jane: I’m not spending a lunch hour that I never take listening to Dennis I-love-myself Rockmand.  That sounds like a Flinstones character.  (snobby voice)  Hi, I’m Dennis Rockmand.  (Maura walks away)  Maura.  Maura!

Hooker: That was one evil heffer.  Be yelling at me from across the street.  (scratchy voice)  Hey ho!  I got yo tricks!  What you goin do about it?!

Maura: He’s a very dynamic speaker.

Jane: I don’t like him.

Maura: Well how can you say that?

Jane: Maura, he didn’t even bother to email you.

Maura: He had speaking engagements.  But why don’t you like him?

Jane: I don’t like his hair.  Or his teeth.

Maura: Ssh!  (pinches Jane)

Jane: Don’t forget your inner biiiiitch.

Jane: (fast talking)  Great talk.  Good luck with the book sales.  Maura, let’s go.

(Talking about case and serial killers; Jane goes to leave to show picture around)

Maura: Jane, did you notice, that I didn’t mention Dennis?

Jane: Yes you did.

Rondo:  Vannnnnillllllaaaaaaa!

Maura: I haven’t been training this bonsai.  It’s getting too big.

Angela: You should try knitting.  It’s very soothing.  Unless you’re knitting it for a baby that could be your husband’s love child or your first grandchild.

Maura: Angela, I am so sorry.

Angela: I wish I could just walk away.  But that baby didn’t have anything to do with how he or she got made.

(doorbell rings)

Maura: Are you expecting somebody?

Angela:  It might be Amazon I ordered some more of this soft yarn.  They deliver late.

(Maura answers door; It’s Dennis)

(Maura is gleaming, strutting into headquarters)

Jane: Uh oh.  Well either you got a lot of sleep or you did some sleeping that didn’t involve sleep.

Maura: Dennis stopped by.  But I didn’t sleep with him.  I haven’t slept with him.  That last time it was because, well, I hadn’t made my bed.

Jane: What stopped you this time?  Visible dust bunnies?  (coy smile from Maura)  Good, keep playing hard to get.

Maura: I always wanted a good nickname.

Jane: What’s wrong with Poindexter?

Maura: The same thing that’s wrong with Roly Poly Rizzoli.

Jane: UH!  Maura!  (elevator opens, Jane gets on)  Come on.  I need you to observe Mr. Bear.

Maura: What? I have work to do downstairs.

Jane: Please?  You’re the one with the degree in Forensic Psychology.

Maura: No, I did one clinical rotation in behavioral neuroscience.

Jane: That’s one more than me.  We need to determine if this guy is our serial killer.

Maura: I should examine him in a medical setting.

Jane: GET IN.  (grabs her and pulls her in)

(Maura sniffing statue)

Jane: (glancing back at press) I can see the headlines now: “Medical Examiner Sniffs Out Clues”.

Jane: Did you make it larger because I said I hated Dennis’ hair?

Maura: (uncomfortable)  NO.  ….possibly.

Jane: (pointing) Hives.  Serves you right.

Angela: Jane!  Help!  I think Lydia is going into labor.

Jane: Maternity Ward is a great place to have a baby!  Want me to call your Mom and have her meet you there?

Frankie: He tore up his parent card when he slept with someone younger than us!

Lydia: Aw, Mrs. Rizzoli.  You think you can forgive me?  I’d love a hamburger.

Tommy: Oh, me too.

Angela: Okay.  I’m a little conflicted here.  You had intimate relationships with both Tommy and my creep of an ex-husband and you never bothered to tell me who you were when we met?!

Tommy: I can see why you don’t want to get her a burger but what did I do?

Angela: (smacks him upside his head) THAT!

Tommy: I didn’t do that!  Did I do that?!

Lydia: Maybe.  I’m really sorry.  Mrs. Rizzoli.  But now that I’m bringing a new life into this world, I’m gonna turn over a new leaf.

Angela: And what about you Thomas?

Tommy: I’m definitely wearing condoms from now on.  (Frankie laughs)

Angela: Fine!  As a sign of good will, I’m gonna make both of you burgers.  But no one is gonna call me “grandma” until I know who the father of that baby is!

Jane: Let’s let the nice paramedics take you to the hospital.

Jane: No Lydia.  Don’t push.

Jane: You, turn around!  I don’t need you passing out.

Tommy: Don’t you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?

Jane: Text me when you know who the father is.

(Dennis leading Maura into his studio area)

Frost: (suddenly) Dougan get your hands off of her!

Jane: Maura, you okay?

Maura: What are you doing?  (Dennis grabs her, puts knife to her throat)  (surprised gasp)

Dennis: Look behind you Maura.  See that pedastol Maura?  You were gonna be my next creation.  I was going to honor you.  Just like my mother, you gave me life.  You must think you’re real smart, huh Detective?

Jane: No no no, no.  We’re just lucky.  You’re much smarter than us.

Dennis: Not even the genius Dr. Isles could keep up with me.

Maura: (crying and shaking) No, please.  Please!

Dennis: Begging?  Keep begging.  I like it when they beg.

Jane: (puts gun away) No no no no.  Look!  We’re all in your hands.  We’re all in your hands.

(Creepy explanation from Dennis as to why he did what he did)

(Dennis pushes Maura at Jane, throws himself down elevator shaft)

Jane: (holding crying Maura)  It’s okay.  It’s okay.

Maura: How could I not know?!  How could I not know?

Jane: No come on, listen.  He evaded four jurisdictions, including us.  You said it yourself.  They’re not all reclusive monsters.  You couldn’t have known.  (clinging to each other)  You couldn’t have known.

Maura: I should have known.

Angela: You haven’t said a word in over an hour, Maura.

Maura: Just processing the worst day of my life.

Jane: Stop beating yourself up, Maura.  We all met him.  None of us spotted him.  (offers Maura sandwich, Maura shakes her head)  The best behavioral psychiatrists in the world will tell you that serial killers get away with it because they appear so normal.  (Jane rubs Maura’s thigh) 

Angela: Ugh.  Why couldn’t you two do something else for a living?

Jane: I thought about being a ballerina.

Angela: Yes you did.  And you were so good at the (some ballet move I can’t catch J).

Jane: Then I wanted to be a Goalie in the NHL.  (everyone laughs)

(doorbell)

Angela: That’s probably my yarn.

Jane: My god, woman!  How much yarn do you need for a baby blanket?

Angela: (yells to Jane) Is it the yarn?

Jane: (walks in holding baby) It’s Lydia’s baby.  She left him on the doorstep.

*GIFs not mine> I save awesome things after I reblog them :)