Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.09 -- "Gone Daddy Gone"

Case: A girl is killed by Paddy’s MO. and left on display at the docks
RizzIsles: Something seems to be developing between Maura and Tommy, and Jane isn’t happy about it; Maura is forced to give Paddy Doyle medical attention when he holds her and Tommy at gunpoint in her home; Jane tries to avoid sensitivity training

(Knocking on door to Maura’s house, Maura answers)
Jane: (in workout attire, fixing her pony tail; looks Maura up and down; shaking her head)  No.  No.  No no no no… did you forget?!
Maura: (in typical Maura clothes, frowning) Oh shoot.
Jane: Maura.  This crack-of-dawn run was your idea.  (frustrated) Damnit!  I coulda slept in.
Maura: I am so sorry.
Guy in background: Hey babe, once you touch it you gotta do something with it.
Jane: (shocked)  Babe?!  (walks in passed Maura, looks around wall and sees Tommy)  What’s Tommy doing here so early?
Maura: Not early so much as late.  He spent the night.  (Jane whips her head around to glare at Maura, stops in her tracks)  Playing Chess.  He’s quite good.  (moves passed Jane back to Tommy at table, addresses Tommy)  Sorry.  Knight to B3.
Tommy: Declining the gambit is a risky move.  (to Jane, childlike)  Morning, Sis.
Jane: (annoyed) I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.
Maura: Oh this isn’t chummy!  (serious tone, smiling at Tommy)  I’ve all but destroyed his King’s Pawn defense.
Tommy: (gritting his teeth, smiling) Whatever.
Jane: Oh, good for you.  (quickly)  Ma goes to Atlantic City for a few days now you’re sleepin over?
Tommy: Like she said, Jane.  We’re just, playing chess.  Best opponent I ever faced.
Maura: (smiling) Stop.
Jane: (answering ringing cell)  Rizzoli.  Yea, okay.  I’ll be right there.  (hangs up)  C’mon we got a possible homicide.  We gotta go.
Maura: (innocently) I’m about to castle and I, I haven’t been called in yet.  (moves Chess pieces, smiles; Tommy looks concerned; answers ringing cell phone)  Dr. Isles.  (whispering to Tommy as she gets up)  No moves without me.
Jane: (mocking Maura’s whisper to Tommy)  No moves at all.  Show yourself out.

Jane: (walking onto crime scene with Maura)  Do not sleep with my brother.
Maura: (offended)  What?!  Jane!  I hadn’t even occurred to me!  Though he does have exquisite long bones.  (smirking)
Jane: (making a disgusted face)  Long bones?!  Ew!!
Maura: Femur and tibia.  Look, it’s his mind that I find myself most attracted to.
Jane: (laughing)  He barely graduated high school.
Maura: Bobby Fisher was a high school dropout, and he’s a World-class Chess Champion.
Jane: Okay, so when Tommy becomes a World-class Chess Champion you can sleep with him.
Maura: (excited) Really?!
Jane: No.

(Jane gives instructions about crime scene to uniformed officer)
Officer: Okay.  (annoyed)  It’s Duncan by the way.
Jane: What?
Officer: My name.  Officer Ronald Duncan.  (walks away)
Jane: (annoyed to Korsak and Frost)  Did I say something wrong?
Korsak: People just like to be acknowledged, Jane.  Which reminds me--
Jane: No.  (walking around car at scene)
Korsak: Jane.  (following Jane around car)  Sensitivity Training is mandatory for the entire department and it’s incumbent on me to make sure that you attend.  I don’t want to pull rank--
Jane: We’re in the middle of a homicide investigation!  I don’t have time to go sit with some emo Nazi and have her tell me what I can or cannot say to all the low lifes, scumbags and gang bangers that I gotta deal with.
Frost: (laughing)  Nice.

Jane: (to Frost)  You wanna process the crime scene, I’m going to the docks.  (to Maura)  You, of course, are coming with me.
Maura: (protesting)  You know, I’m beginning to think that you are deliberately trying to take me away from my chess game.  (raises eyebrows, smiles sweetly)
Jane: (dry, obligingly)  Yes, Maura.  I am sabotaging your knight to queen castle thingy move.  (Maura nods along knowingly)  I. drove. you here.  (pointing at her car)
Maura: (conceding straight face)

Dock Worker: Hey baby, nice tits.
Jane: Oh yea, we’ve been waiting for you all our lives.  (walking away with Maura)  What does he think we’re gonna do?!  Run over there and tear off his clothes?
Maura: (serious science tone)  He’s not thinking naturally at all.  It’s a natural chemical response to our pheromones.
Jane: Really?  “Nice tits” is a natural, chemical response?
Maura: (smirking, laughing)  Perceived fertility is paramount.  Males seek mates capable of nursing offspring, abundant breasts do suggest…
Jane: Ya know what his abundant belly suggests?!  Snowball’s chance in hell!

Union Rep at Dock: (sleazy approach, checks out JaM)  What can I do for you lovely ladies?
Jane: That’s a doctor, I’m a detective and you are?

Union Rep (Murphy): I can tell ya she’s not one of the office girls.
Maura: (smirking)  It appears that all the girls here are over the age of 18.

Dock Worker: You’re a cop.  That’s a turn off.
Jane: Bummer.  Do you recognize her?  (holds up picture of girl)
Worker: MJ, yea.  She walked off the job half way through her shift yesterday.  Affirmative Action hires are bullshit.  No muscles, no use.
Maura: Actually male and female muscle tissue is identical.  What varies is the size of the male skeletal frame.  Men generally have less body fat.  (looking worker up and down, smirking)  But not always.

Maura: Whatever it is, I won’t be the one forensically interpreting it.  I’m calling in Dr. Pike from the Western Mass office.
Korsak: Oh no.  Anybody but him!  Don’t know what’s worse… his pompous attitude or his OCD.
Jane: That’s very insensitive language, Sergeant Korsak.  I’m sure language like that would really hurt Dr. Pike’s feelings.  (Korsak concedes, Jane addresses Maura)  C’mon, Maur.  You don’t have to do this.  Alright?  The only people who know about your connection to Doyle are us and Frost.
Maura: We may finally be able to prosecute Paddy Doyle for murder.  I don’t want to risk a Defense Attorney finding out that he’s my biological father and using it against us in court. 
Jane: What are you gonna tell Pike?
Maura: I don’t have to tell him anything.  I’m his boss.

Korsak: He’s right ya know.  Longshoremen won’t talk.  Goes against their code.  Remember that line from “Along the Waterfront”?  (mock Brando voice)  I don’t know nuthin.  I ain’t see nuthin and I ain’t sayin nuthin.
Jane: (eyes closed, annoyed)  Here’s the deal.  I’ll do Sensitivity Training.  You don’t do Brando.

Jane: (annoyed to Pike)  When will you be STARTING?!
Pike: (coldly)  Momentarily.  It seems not much stock is placed in the proper placement of instruments here.
Jane: (to Maura)  You gonna let him talk to you like that?
Pike: (muttering)  This is ridiculous!
Jane: You’re his boss.  (nods toward Pike)
Maura: Is there something particular that you require, Doctor?
Pike: Yes.  Organization.

Jane: (follows Maura to her office, sees her looking at articles about Paddy)  Don’t let that idiot get to you.
Maura: (softly)  Can’t fault him for telling the truth.  Paddy Doyle is a butcher.
Jane: Paddy Doyle has nothing to do with you.
Maura: He fathered me.
Jane: He simply provided the sperm.  (Maura tilting her head, returning to screen)  Alright?  And judging by the amazing person you turned out to be, his DNA didn’t win.

Maura: I don’t understand the strategy behind this attack.
Jane: Well it’s simple.  Doyle is just trying to scare the hell out of anybody who won’t do his bidding at the docks.
Maura: No, I meant Tommy’s (typing) decision to move his rook to B5.
Jane: (walking around desk to see computer)  Wait a minute.  My little brother is IMing you at the office and sending you little smiley faces and there’s nothing going on between you two?!
Maura: (defensively)  Well you and I keep in touch throughout the day. 
Jane: It must be my amazing long bones.  (elevator dings, Jane goes on high alert, ducking behind Maura)  Mm.  Ehmh.  (darts behind Maura’s office door to hide, Maura looks on confused)
Maura: Wha--
Jane: Ssh!!
Woman: (knocks, then walks into Maura’s office)  I hope you can forgive me for my invasion of your personal space.  Allow me to introduce myself so we can dialogue.  (Jane behind door, rolls her eyes)  My name is Carol Madigan, Sensitivity Training Liaison. 
Maura: (understanding, smiles and stands)  Dr. Maura Isles.  (shakes Carol’s hand)  How may I help you?
Carol: I’m looking for Detective Rizzoli.  Who I’m told is here, although she’s scheduled to be in my Connect, Protect and Respect class.  Ya seen her?
Maura: (straight faced, half smile)  I believe she is in the building.  But, I, uh, don’t see her, right now.  (smiling)
Carol: (seriously)  Tell her I’m lookin for her.
Korsak: (walking into Maura’s office from lab)  Where’s Jane?
Jane: (coming out from behind door)  You sick (Korsak jumps, hand quickly goes to his hip then down) that sensitivity freak on me?!
Maura: (laughing)  Freak?!  Maybe you do need sensitivity training.

Jane: (sarcastically sweet)  Great work, Sergeant Detective Korsak.  I think we should investigate, but what do you think?  (Korsak rolls his eyes, Maura smiles)

(Maura at her desk, smiling, looking at computer screen)
Pike: Dr. Isles?
Maura: Yes?
Pike: (holding up petri dish)  Discovered in the victim’s stomach contents.  Micro SD card.
Maura: (looking at petri dish)  It’s from a camera.
Pike: Video, my guess.  Must have swallowed it just before she was killed.  And I bet Paddy Doyle wanted it. 
Maura: (annoyed)  That sounds very much like an assumption.
Pike: Think there’s a drug deal on it?  (tapping dish, Maura looks up wide-eyed, annoyed) A murder?
Maura: (slowly)  I don’t know.  Nor is it within our purview to guess.  (hands dish back to Pike, returns to her chair)  Please take this to Detective Frost up in Homicide.
Pike: Arguably the most important find against a notorious mobster and I’ll be credited with it all because you needed help.  Funny, huh?
Maura: (tight lipped, annoyed, sighs)  Good night, Doctor.  (leaves, Pike hesitates, eyes Maura’s chair, starts to sit down, Maura returns)  Please don’t sit in my chair.  (gives stern look, leaves again)

Maura: (seductively, smooth)  I’m very intrigued by the assertiveness of your play. 
Tommy: (smiling, smoothly)  Just givin what I’m getting.
Maura: (smirks, moves a chess piece, looks up seductively)  And what does that tell you?
(Someone breaks through door behind Tommy; Tommy jumps up and goes to Maura)
Man: (yelling)  He needs a doctor!  (pointing gun at Tommy and Maura)  Now!
Tommy: My god, that’s Paddy Doyle.
Maura: (angry)  I know who he is.

Paddy: He your boyfriend?
Maura: (angry, cold)  You’re holding me hostage.  You think you have any right to ask me personal questions?!

Tommy: (brining water and towels to Maura)  How the hell do you know this guy anyway?
(Maura and Paddy exchange glance)
Paddy: I’m her father.

Jane: (seeing Officer Duncan walk in)  Oh yay.  Officer helpful is back.  (to Duncan)  Hey, thanks for bringing that up.  A battery probably isn’t going to help with the investigation so you can just take that down to evidence.
Duncan: (annoyed, slams battery onto desk, Jane looks up)  It’s not in my job description to bust my balls for Homicide. (leaves)
Jane: (to Korsak)  Why doesn’t HE have to take sensitivity training?
Korsak: He already did.
Jane: Works wonders.

Jane: So you coulda been a Longshoreman?
Korsak: More than that (mock Brando voice) I coulda been a contender.
Jane: Stop.  (walks away)
Korsak: (following, still mocking Brando) Instead of a bum, which is what I am.

(Paddy passed out on Maura’s couch; Tommy and Maura restrained at table)
Tommy: You alright?
Maura: (breathless)  Fine.
Tommy: So were you adopted or something? 
Maura: Yes.
Tommy: How long’d you know you were related to him?
Maura: Not long.  (looks down to chess game)  Bishop to D7 captures the rook.  Check.
Tommy: It’s okay.  We don’t need to talk about it.

Paddy: You look a lot like your mother.
Maura: Who is my mother?
Paddy: You would like her.  She would like you.
Maura: Did she love you?
Paddy: She did.  But you would still like her.

Dock Worker: Oh!  Look who’s back!  Bet you want somea’ this!  (grabs crotch)
Korsak: Oh get your hands off your junk!  This Detective here’s a lady!  (Jane smirks at Korsak)  What?!
Jane: (southern Belle voice)  Thank you, kind sir, for defending my honor.
Korsak: No, I merely defended an individual who happens to be female from an inappropriate harasser who happens to be male.

(Dock Worker comes up behind Jane, grabs her ass)
Jane: (angry, grabbing hand on her ass)  Who’s hand is this?!  Because I found it on my ASS.
Worker: I got one more where that came from.
Jane: (seductively)  Do you?
Worker: Yes.
Jane: Cause here’s what I got… (twists his arm, brings him to his knees)
Worker: Hey!  Let go!  Freaking lezzie.
Korsak: What the hell happened?!
Jane: (calmly)  What?  He grabbed my ass.
Korsak: This scumbag had the nerve to put his filthy hands on you?!
Worker: Just one.
Korsak: (cuffing worker)  That’s all I need to take you in, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.

Jane: (seeing Pike arrive at new crime scene)  Aww what the hell is Pike doing here?!
Pike: Detectives.
Jane: Where’s Dr. Isles?
Pike: I have no idea, nor do I understand your question’s relevance given our nearly identical credentials.
Jane: Just tell us what you’re doin here.
Pike: Dr. Isles was, unreachable.
Jane: (fearful, to Frost)  Frost.
Frost: Yea, I got it.  Go.
(Jane runs off scene)
Pike: It’s discrimination pure and simple.  Governor felt he needed to “appoint a woman”.  Once again I’m penalized for being a white male.
Frost: (gives him a look)  Don’t even.  (walks away)

(Maura’s cell phone ringing)
Maura: That’s probably Jane.
Paddy: Let it go.  (Goon helping him off the couch)
Maura: Why did you even come here?!  You could have paid off any number of doctors for treatment. 
Paddy: But they wouldn’t have been you.
Maura: (angry) Is that supposed to warm my heart?  Because it DOESN’T.  I’ve seen what you’re capable of.  I saw what you did to that young woman.
Paddy:  I didn’t do anything to her.  I don’t kill women, or children, or anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Maura: (angry)  So even you have standards?!
Paddy: Regardless of what you think of me, Maura.  In my world, I’m a man of honor, and of my word.  I’m being framed.  (walking toward door)
Maura: (considering, responds coldly)  I don’t believe you.
Paddy: You’re the Chief Medical Examiner.  Use your science.  It will tell you if I’m guilty or not.  (leaving)
Maura: Where you going?
Paddy: To finish what someone else started.

(Jane enters Maura’s open front door, gun out)
Maura: Jane!
Jane: Where is he?  Where’s Doyle?
Maura: Gone!  15 minutes ago.
Jane: (puts gun away, grabs scissors)  Paddy was shot, right?
Maura: A bullet through his clavicle.  He lost a lot of blood but his injuries weren’t life threatening.  (Jane cuts Tommy and Maura’s arms free)  How’d you know?
Jane: Because I just came from a crime scene where his top Lieutenant wasn’t so lucky.  (cuts legs free) 
Maura: Do you know what happened? 
Jane: No, but for Paddy Doyle to take a bullet.  Someone he trusted must’ve given him up.  (looking around house)  God it looks like an ER in here!
Tommy: (angry)  Maura had to fix him at gunpoint.
Maura: He told me that the shooting was over business.
Jane: So what?  (still squatting in front of Maura)  So Melissa’s murder was under the category of pleasure?
Maura: No, he denied the killing.  He says somebody was trying to frame him.   (Jane looks to Tommy)  That he doesn’t kill women or children or innocents.
Jane: Of course he told you that, Maura.  He’s not going to confess to the one person in the world who he gives a damn about. 
(Maura is visibly upset: leans back, closes her eyes and puts her head in her hand, gets up, takes a few steps, hands on hips)
Tommy: A Mob Boss like Paddy Doyle couldn’t rule the streets this long just on fear.  He lives by a code that’s why he has respect.
Jane: (annoyed, getting up)  You finished?
Tommy: He has a heart, Jane.  (angry)  I’m serious.  You didn’t see the way he looked at her.  (Jane walks to Maura, rubs her back)  He may be a bad guy but he loves his daughter.

Jane: (seeing Duncan with more evidence)  Oh, God.  Can somebody please sign for this?!
Frost: And torture the poor guy?!  He’s here for you Jane.
Jane: (disbelief, defensive)  No he’s not.
Korsak: Oh yes he is.
Jane: This guy hates me.  I’ll show you.  (turning around to Duncan, smiles) 
Duncan: (avoiding eye contact)  On your desk, Rizzoli?
Jane: Uh, no.  I’ll take it, but thank you, (takes box) very much.  Officer Duncan.  (smiling)  Thanks.
Duncan: (smiling)  Actually, this is kinda heavy.  (grabs end of box back)  I can take it down to Evidence for ya if you want.
Jane: It’s okay.  (smiling, pulling box back, Duncan and Jane struggle over box)  I got it.  Thank you.  (turns back to her desk, he doesn’t move, turns back smiling)  Thank you.  (Duncan walks into board as he turns to leave)
Korsak: (laughing)  See?!
Frost: (laughing)  Love.
Jane: Stop.  Shut up.

Maura: Dr. Pike.  I looked through your report on Melissa Joy Black.  I didn’t see a reference to an examination of the victim’s teeth or gums.
Pike: Cause of Death was quite clear, as is my report.  (packing his belongings)  I didn’t feel the need to floss her bones.
Maura: Specifically I am concerned about the post mortem bruising around the victim’s mouth.  (opens file to show)  Here and here. 
Pike: Mhm.  Which I noted on page 27.
Maura: (smiling, annoyed)  But, um it suggests that the perpetrator applied force against the victim’s mouth during the attack.
Pike: And what’s your point?
Maura: Detective Rizzoli’s investigation indicated that this was a very brave young woman; going undercover on her own.
Pike: I don’t make my rulings based on a victim’s personality traits.  (grabs suitcase to leave)
Maura: (moving to block his path, smiling)  Neither do I.  But I would consider such a woman may have bitten her killer.  I want to see the body.
Pike: Already released to the funeral home per her family’s request. (starts to leave again)
Maura: (angry)  Without my approval?!
Pike: I’m a Medical Examiner too.
Maura: (angry) No you are an ASSISTANT Medical Examiner.  You work for me, Dr. Pike.
Pike: It figures that someone like you would try and pull rank.  I went to Harvard, ya know that.
Maura: (stepping toward Pike, raised finger, angry)  Shut it!  Or I will assign you to a town that will make Western Mass feel like Paris.  You have one hour to get that body back.  Understand?!
Pike: Yes, Doctor.
(Maura gives him annoyed look, walks away)

Jane: (to Dock Worker) Nice moobs.
Korsak: Moobs?
Jane: Yea, man boobs.

Jane: (swatting Korsak)  That’s why you been all over this?!  So you could get an extra day off?!
Korsak: I also happen to feel very strongly about the teaching of tolerance.
Carol: Really?!  Because I just got out of a half hour meeting with Mr. Dwyer who’s lodging a formal complaint about the abusive treatment he received while in custody.  Did you tell Mr. Dwyer. he had moobs?
Jane: (glancing at smirking Korsak)  Yes.  Yes I did.  And, I am completely ashamed by the cruelty of my words.  (look of disbelief from Korsak)  It was inappropriate, and unkind and insensitive.  No charges will be filed, Mr. Dwyer, and, and I do hope that you can accept my sincerest apologies.
Dock Worker/Dwyer: (shrugging, confused)  I, I guess so.
Jane: I do have every intention of completing my Sensitivity Training ASAP. 
Carol: Thank you, Detective.
Jane: Now, if you’ll excuse us we are in pursuit of a suspect.
Carol: Oh, of course.
Jane: (on elevator with Korsak) Take care.
Korsak: Quite a performance.
Jane: Incredibly sensitive, dontcha think?  (smirking)

Jane: Hey Ma!  How was your trip?
Angela: (unpacking suitcase in kitchen)  Aw, I lost 85 bucks on the nickel slots.  But look at all this really great stuff I got!  (gesturing to stuff on island)
Angela: Hey!  Anybody need a robe?!  (Maura raises eyebrows, shakes head)
Jane: Ma.  (grabbing airplane bottle of liquor)  Did you take this from the little fridge?
Angela: They refill it, Jane.
Jane: This isn’t free, Ma.  They’re gonna charge your credit card.
Angela: (annoyed)  I paid $109 a night for that room.  (Jane rubs her temples)  Really?!  I’m gonna send it back.
Jane: (holding up certificate)  Four hours of Sensitivity Training, and I passed with flying colors.
Maura: (laughs)  Congratulations.
Tommy: Learn anything?
Jane: Yes.  I am an equal opportunity offender.
Angela: (holding up hair dryer)  Okay, are they gonna charge me for this?!
(Maura laughs in the background)

Jane: (answers ringing cell)  Hello?
Paddy Doyle: Detective Rizzoli.
Jane: How did you get this number?
Paddy: I’m one of the new guys compared to this new way of doing business.  (Maura stands, walks to Jane to listen to call)  I know you know that.
Jane: I’m not sure I do.  Where are you?
Paddy: You know I’m not telling you.
Jane: Well that’s too bad.  Why don’t you tell me about Melissa Joy Black?
Paddy: Back when I ran the docks, we didn’t kill women, or hurt hard working people like her father Richie.  (shows Richie’s other daughter opening an envelope filled with cash)
Jane: That was ruled an accident.
Paddy: Yea.  Check the DNA on the blood/alcohol test they said was Richie’s.  Take care of my daughter.
Maura: I can take care of myself.  (to Jane)  Hang up.
Jane: I do think he loves you.
Maura: Doesn’t mean I have to love him back.

Angela: (yelling)  What happened to the door?!
Jane: Tommy forgot his keys.
Angela: Tommy, you know better than that!
Jane: (walking to Tommy and Maura’s chess game)  Uh, I might make a suggestion.  (moves chess pieces, smirks)  Checkmate.
Maura: (approaches, surprised)  You know how to play chess?!
Jane: Yea.  Who’dya think taught him?  Tommy’s not the only Rizzoli with a beautiful mind.

Gag Reel:

GIFs not mine >> I save awesome stuff after I reblog

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.08 -- "My Own Worst Enemy"

Case: An older man is killed after him and his son are mugged leaving a restaurant
RizzIsles: A mysterious man from Maura’s past randomly shows up; Jane is hurt that Maura is being very secretive about him; Jane has a foot injury and keeps limping around,

Maura: (knock on her front door, looks through window)  Ian?!  Oh my god!  (opens the door)
Ian: Hello there.  (slowly enters, throws bag down)
Maura: (gazing lustfully, jumps to straddle him, kissing)  What if I had someone here?
Ian: Do you?
Maura: No.
Ian: We’re in luck then.  (kissing, keeping Maura close against him, walks to couch and lays her down under him)
Maura: Where have you been?
Ian: I’m here now. (resume making out on the couch)

(At a crime scene, Jane is sitting on hood of squad car examining her foot; She quickly puts her boot on and limps toward Korsak when he calls)
Korsak: (explains scene they’re entering) Are you limping?
Jane: What?  No. (tries to walk normal)

Jane: (talking about case, interrupts herself)  Where is Maura?!
Korsak: Can’t do this without your b-f-f?
Jane: Not when she’s the Chief Medical Examiner.  No.

(Jane pulls out her cell to make a call)
Korsak: Dispatch has already called Dr. Isles.
Jane: Nah, I know.  I’m gonna call the CI.  He knows this neighborhood real well.  (Cell phone rings in the crowd playing music: “You are the one I waited for…”)
Rondo: (answering phone) Hello Vanilla.  (waves from the crowd)
Korsak: (muttering and walking away)  This freaking guy.
Jane: (to officer guarding police line) It’s okay, he’s with us.  C’mon Rondo.  Step this way.  (guiding him to the side by his elbow)
Rondo: I will step anywhere you tell me to step, Vanilla.  You are looking today, I tell you what girl.  I like it when you hold me tight.
Jane: C’mon, stop it.  This isn’t a date.  Okay, I need some information.
Rondo: I have lots of information.  (looking Jane up and down) And I know how to treat a lady right.
Jane: (through gritted teeth, rolling her eyes) Shut. Up.

(Maura struts on to crime scene flustered)
Maura: Hi.
Jane: Where ya been?
Maura: Uh, bed.
Jane: You okay?
Maura: (beaming, breathless) Yea.  Why?
Jane: Cause you’re wearing two different shoes!  (giggling)  You are so not feeling okay.
Maura: (quickly) I got dressed in the dark.  What about you?  You’re limping.
Jane: Oh no I’m not.
Maura: Yes you are.  You know why??  Because you buy your boots a half size too small.
Jane: No I don’t!
Maura: You stomp.
Jane: I do not stomp.
Maura: (head tilt, smile)

(Next morning, in Maura’s kitchen; Ian is making tea)
Maura: (hugging Ian, looking up at him expectantly, speaking breathlessly)  Why don’t you ever tell me when you’re coming?
Ian: Because I never know if I am…
(Key sound in the door, Maura pulls back)
Maura: Oh, that’s Jane’s mother.
Ian: Should I hide?
Maura: Uh, no.  Just say that we’re colleagues.  (smirking)  I don’t want to have to explain you.
Ian: I’m hard to explain.

Angela: (reading) If you’re a busy, unorganized professional.
Ian: Oh you mean like Dr. Isles here?  (Maura shoots him a look, smiles at Angela)
Angela: (reading) Are you ready to conquer the clutter?!  (pan around incredibly clean, organized house)  Yea, well, um, I’m just gonna check yes.
(Ian and Maura exchange a quick warm glance)

(New crime scene; Uniform is patting down Rondo)
Rondo: I’m tellin ya.  I’m the one that called it in.
Uniform: He says he’s with a Detective Vanilla.
Korsak: I can’t imagine why you didn’t believe him.
Jane: It’s alright.  He’s with me sir.
Rondo: (regarding Korsak) He gotta be here?
(Jane smirks)
Korsak: He does.
Jane: Talk.

Jane: (limping into Morgue) Hm, we’re feeling better… your shoes match. (smiling)
Maura: (smiling) I was just tired last night.  You’re still limping.  (Jane groans, Maura grabs her phone to reply to a message, smiling)
Jane: (smiling) Who’s that?
Maura: Not important.
Jane: Hm. Oh, okay.  Well can we go out on a limb and say this junkie OD’d?
Maura: (brightly) Yes!
Jane: Really?!
(talking about the case, Maura’s phone vibrates again, she puts it in her pocket without looking)
Jane: Well you didn’t even read it that time.
Maura: It’s nothing.  (goes back to case file)
Jane: (smiling) You’re in a weird mood.
Maura: No.  I’m not.  (back to reading file)
Jane: Okay.  (phone vibrates, checks message)  Oh.  I gotta go talk to my CI.  Wanna grab a coffee afterwards?
Maura: (smiling to herself) No, I already had tea.
Jane: Oh.  (hesitates, confused, leaves)

Angela: Did you meet Dr. Isles’ new hunk?
Jane: (conspiratorially)  What?!
Angela: Ian?  They think I was born yesterday.  He spent the night.
Jane: Ma, that’s really none of your busin-- Ian spent the night?!
Angela: Mmhm.  Didn’t she tell you??
Jane: (slight hesitation) Um yea.  Yes.  Okay thanks.  (leaves counter with coffee)

Rondo: I got you on speed dial, Vanilla.

(Talking about case in the lab; Maura’s phone vibrates, she looks quickly then puts it back down)
Jane: (teasing tone)  Is that Ian?
Maura: (quickly glances to others around, gathers materials to move to morgue) Uh, let’s go and take a look at the victim’s nails.
Jane: (rolling her eyes)  Oh, lets.
Maura: (walking passed Jane holding morgue door, speaks dryly) Yes it was Ian.  Just an old friend.  (examines victim’s fingers)  His cuticles have never been cut.  I’d say he’s never had a manicure.
Jane: You don’t have to tell me about Ian.  (Maura looks up at Jane)  It’s none of my business.
Maura: I’m not not telling you about him.  (shrugs)  He just stopped by this morning.  (looks down)
Jane: (looking to the side, not directly at Maura)  I heard he stopped by last night.  (quick glance at Maura)
Maura: (stuttering, uncomfortable) Uh, um, he lives in Africa.  It’s um.  It’s complicated.
Jane: (short) Okay.  (shrugs, starts to walk away slowly)  Uh, let me know if you find anything else (exaggerated) in the case as long as it’s not complicated.  I mean, who am I to help you with your complicated love life?!
Maura: Jane.  (grabs phone, walks to Jane)
Jane: (stops walking, waits; Maura stops to smile at her phone as she reads/replies to messages; Jane rolls her eyes and starts to walk away again)  Good bye.  Have a fabulous time reading your, love texts in private.
Maura: (glancing up quickly)  No, Jane.  Jane wait.  Wait.  It’s nothing.  (Jane stops)  It’s nothing.  Look.  (hands Jane her cell)
Jane: (reading slowly) Ahunay ee tee pia.  Wessette ab bur-- (annoyed, hands phone back to Maura)
Maura: (school girl smile)  He just said, um, guess what we’d be doing if we were in Ethiopia right now.
Jane: That doesn’t sound complicated.  (Maura continues smiling, reading and replying; Jane gets annoyed) I killed Korsak with your scalpel.  (Maura laughs at her phone)  I contaminated all your DNA samples.  (Maura continues smiling at phone)  I snuck into your closet and put all your shoes in different boxes.
Maura: (head snapping up)  What?!
Jane: Never mind.  (walks away)
Maura: No, Jane!  Wait.  Wa-wait, I’m sorry.  Let me at least take a look at your foot.
Jane: Oh no!  I don’t think we’re close enough for that anymore.
Maura: Please??  I’m, I’m sorry.  Okay?  Look.  (makes show of putting phone off to the side, gestures for Jane to sit in seat)
Jane: (sitting)  You’ll be really sorry when my toe kills me.  (removes boot and sock; takes deep breath, puts foot up to Maura.)  Okay.  Don’t touch it.  (Maura touches it) Ow!!  (through gritted teeth)  Maura.
Maura: (carefully)  Okay.  You have acute anickocryptosis. 
Jane: Do I need to update my will?
Maura: In grown toenail.  You need a minor procedure.
Jane: Okay.  You do it.
Maura: Me?  I don’t do surgery.
Jane: It’s not a kidney transplant, Maura.  Just do it.
Korsak: (enters morgue, sees RizzIsles with Jane’s foot in Maura’s hand, shakes his head)  Not gonna ask.

(Knocking on door)
Maura: (opens door, smirking, accusatory)  What are you doing here?
Jane: (limping) My toe.  It’s killing me.
Maura: Unless it’s given you a staph infection, it’s hardly killing you.
Jane: (starts to protest, stops when she sees Ian closing boxes on dining room table)  Oh, I’m so sorry to barge in.  (smirking)
Maura: No, that’s okay.
Ian: (walking over, hand extended)  Hi.  You must be Jane Rizzoli.  Let me get you a glass of wine.
Jane: Okay.  Thank you.  You must be Ian.
Maura: Jane needs a phenylization procedure.
Ian: Oh!  Then you’ll want a lot of wine.  I better open another bottle.  (walks away)
Maura: (amused)  Did you come over here to check up on me?
Jane: Oh yea.  I rubbed bad germs all over my ingrown toenail so I could spy on you.
Ian: Uh, Maura.  I can’t find the corkscrew.
Maura: (to Jane)  Your mother has been doing some organizing for me.  (gestures to cabinets)  
Jane: Ugh.  Can’t she find a slob-- (horrified, notices printed labels on all cabinets and drawers) to. bother.  I’m so sorry!
Maura: That’s okay.  (digging through drawers)  She alphabetized everything so now corkscrew is next to the chopsticks.  (smile)
Ian: Let me see that foot while I open the wine.
Jane: (hesitant, confused)  Okay.  (boosts herself onto island)
Ian: What can I use to do the procedure?
Jane: (protesting)  I thought was gonna do it.  (desperately glances at Maura)
Maura: Uh Ian is much more qualified.  (smiles, moves to find something)  I just got a new pair of carbon steel pruning sheers.  (quick pan to Jane’s terrified smile)  But would that be under C or F?  Uh, P!  Guess that makes sense.  P for pruning. (reassuring smile, hands tool to Ian)
Ian: Thank you.
Jane: What are you gonna cut off my toe?!
Ian: Pretty much the same tool the podiatrists use.  (sterilizing tool with lighter, Jane looks on wide-eyed, chugs her wine)

Ian: Okay.  This is going to feel a little bit cold.  (sprays topical anesthetic on Jane’s foot)
Jane: (jumps, pulls foot back, trying to speak calmly)  OOOOkay.  That’s fine.  (Maura smirks)
Ian: Oh and I’m gonna need a toothpick too.
Jane: What?!  What for?!  (Maura smirks and walks away)

Jane: (sitting in café doing paperwork, spots delivery boy with basket)  Oh, hey.  You lookin for Dr. Maura Isles?  Give it to me.  I’ll take it to her.
Angela: (grabs card from basket)
Jane: Maa!
Angela: What?  It’s from Ian.
Jane: (looking at basket)  Wow.  Two buck chuck and 3 rolls of toilet paper.  Romance lives.
Angela: She’s more secretive about this one, isn’t she?
Jane: (doing paperwork)  No.  Yes. 
Angela: Hurts your feelings that she’s not confiding in you.  (Jane softly looks up at Angela)  I’m sorry sweetheart.
Jane: I don’t care.  Ya know.  I don’t need to know every detail of her personal life.
Angela: But she usually tells you.
Jane: (shrugs)  Yea.
Angela: He seems charming.  But ya know, those are the ones you have to worry about.
Jane: I got a really weird vibe from him.  He was unpacking boxes and then when he saw me he just closed them all up.
Angela: That’s your cop gut.  Maybe he’s a criminal.
Jane: (rolls her eyes)  I don’t know.
Angela: Well he is Australian.  Aren’t they all descended from crooks?
Jane: (laughs)  Ma, that was like 200 years ago and I don’t think we can hold that against him.
Angela: Ya know.  While I’m in there organizing, I can poke around.
Jane: Please don’t do that.
Angela: I hear you loud and clear.  You need deniability. 
Jane: (sternly)  Ma.  No.  (Angela holds her hands up in surrender and walks away)  Nooo!!  (seeing Maura walk into headquarters)  Maura!  (grabs stuff and runs to her)  Maura!
Maura: (smiling, laughing)  That must be from Ian. 
Jane: Ian really knows how to woo a girl
Maura: When we did relief work in Ethiopia we’d talk about what we’d give for some cheap wine and toilet paper.
Jane: How come you never told me about him?
Maura: I’m sure I have.  You must have forgotten.  Thanks for this.  (gets on elevator) 

(In Morgue with Maura about to autopsy a rat)
Jane: Maybe you should do an autopsy.
Maura: Technically it’s called a necropsy.
Jane: Well let’s not tell the tax payers what we do with their tax dollars.
(Cart with a bunch of boxes is rolled into morgue)
Jane: (boot off, rubbing her toe)  What is that?!
Maura: Supplies.
Jane: For Ian?
Maura: Yes, for Ian.  Who fixed your toe.  How is your toe?
Jane: How is your conscience?
Maura: Excuse me?  (continues working)
Jane: What are you doing?!  Who is this guy?!  Why are you being so weird?
Maura: Why are you turning into a snoopy dog?
Jane: Do you mean Snoop Dogg or Snoopy THE Dog?  Either way I’m insulted.
Maura: Too insulted to find out what killed your rats?
Jane: Okay that is so not fair.

Angela: Jane!  Ian is a spy.
Jane: What’d you do, Ma?
Angela: I found passports from different countries, all with his photo and um, (digging into top of her shirt, grabs piece of paper) and all with different names.  (hands Jane paper)
Jane: You shouldn’t have done this, Ma.

Jane: (quickly as heading out to pursue a suspect) Speaking of hiding.  Ian is wanted for questioning by Interpol for smuggling drugs.
Maura: You’ve been investigating me.
Korsak: (from down the hall) Jane!
Jane: I’m coming!  (runs out, Maura is clearly angry)

(knocking on door, Maura answers)
Jane: Hi. 
Maura: (softly, strained)  Hi.
Jane: (concerned)  You okay?  (Maura shakes her head, holding back tears, walks toward dining room; Jane walks in behind her unsure and hesitant)  Where’s Ian?
Maura: (heavy sigh, looks down, sits at counter)  He’s gone.  I harbored a fugitive.  So, go ahead and arrest me.
Jane: I’m sorry.
Maura: Because you won’t be able to arrest him?
Jane: (takes a second to take in Maura’s appearance, hands her a tissue)  Man, you got it bad.
Maura: (crying)  You know when people talk about the loves of their lives?  That’s Ian.
Jane: (softly) You never ever mentioned him.
Maura: Cause I try to forget him. 
Jane: I’m sorry Maura.  I shouldn’t have done what I did.  It’s none of my business.
Maura: (shifting in her seat)  I just, I can’t… I can’t talk about him.  I can’t.  With anybody… because it makes me so sad.  How can you-- How can you love someone and not be able to be with them?
Jane: Why can’t you be with him?
Maura: He went back to Africa.
Jane: You can go to Africa.
Maura: (shakes her head, sighs)  His crime is risking his life to bring drugs and basic supplies to places nobody cares about.  And I helped him, so, go ahead and arrest me.
Jane: (smiles sweetly, looks around kitchen shocked and appalled)  The first person I’m gonna arrest is my mother!  What?!  Really?!  High ball glasses?!  (Maura smiling)  When was the last time you had a high ball?!  C’mon.
Maura: (sipping from a shot glass)  She rearranged my closet too.
Jane: No.  Not the closet.
Maura: She threw away my shoe boxes.
Jane: Oh no.  That is a crime.  Sorry.  (hands Maura another tissue)  Want me to take you to the airport?
Maura: (sighs, thinks)  No…. no.
Jane: Want me to sit with you til you feel better?
Maura: Yes.  …but first can you arrest your mother?
Jane: (brightly) Okay!  (RizzIsles smile, Jane motions for Maura to stand up, hugs her close, Maura starts crying again)  It’s okay.  It’ll be okay…

GIFs not mine >> I save awesome stuff after I reblog

Friday, October 5, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.07 -- "Bloodlines"

Case: Witches are being burned at the stake
RizzIsles: Jane is frustrated that Frankie’s ex-girlfriend is back; Maura convinces Jane to spy on Frankie and tries to help

(Angela puts breakfast down for the girls; Jane’s is bunny pancakes; Uniform walks by and gives her a look)
Jane: (cutting ears off pancakes)  Okay, at work, make normal pancakes.
Maura: I love bunny pancakes.
Jane: Do not, encourage her.  (to Angela)  So we’re clear, no zoo animal shapes at work.  (Angela smirks)
Maura: Rabbits aren’t zoo animals.  Well, except for the Washington Pigmie which is being bread in captivity.
Angela: Talking about breeding… I could make bunny pancakes for grandchildren.
Jane: Mom!  (drops fork)
Angela: Uh oh.  You know what that means?  Drop a fork, expect a female visitor.
Maura: Are you still menstruating, Mrs. Rizzoli?  (Angela gives her a “mensa mensa” hand)
Jane: Maura!  God, no!  Other kind of visitor… the person kind.  She’s very superstitious.  My mother believes in all that stuff about cats, umbrellas and ladders.  Had me convinced I was gonna paralyze her if I stepped on a crack.
Maura: (sing songy kid’s voice) Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.  (amused)  You believed that?
Jane: I was 5.  (to Angela)  Don’t you have other customers?

Jane: (sees Angela greet a woman in the Café)  Oh my God!  What is SHE doing here?!
Maura: Who’s that?
Jane: Frankie’s ex. 
(Angela hugs the woman)
Maura: Looks like your mother likes her.
Jane: Uh, no.  That would be her I-can’t-stand-you hug.  She’s way too polite to call her the word that rhymes with witch.
Maura: (loudly) Bitch?
Jane: Sshh!! 
Angela: Jane.  (walks woman over to table)  Look who I found!
Jane: (stands, awkwardly hugs woman)  Theresa.  How, how ya doin?  (Maura looks on noticing Jane’s body language)
Theresa: Jane, wow!  Long time.
Jane: What are you doing here at Boston Police headquarters?
Theresa: Just moved back to town.
Jane: Just thought you’d pop by the police department?
Theresa: Job application.
Jane: You’re being fingerprinted?
Theresa: (trying to mask her annoyance) It’s mandatory for everyone applying. 
Jane: Sure.  Sure.  (Maura watches Jane with concern and confusion)  Especially for people who have other people co-sign a car loan and then default on that loan.  (Continues eating)
Theresa: Good seeing you too, Jane.
Jane: See ya around.  (sarcastic smile as she leaves)
(Angela smirks and walks away)

Maura: Wow!  You just gave her your I-can’t-stand-you hug.  Seesh!  Uncomfortable!
Jane: You want uncomfortable?  Trying paying off Theresa’s car loan while she skips town and leaves you holding the bag.
Maura: Perhaps you should have had her fingerprinted first. 
Jane: No, not me.  Frankie.  It’s the love of his life.
Maura: She’s very symmetrical. 
Jane: (disbelief) ‘scuse me?
Maura: Studies have shown that women who have the most symmetrical facial features are the most attractive to men.
Jane: You’re not helping.

Maura: Hmm.  It’s interesting.  I’m gonna have to do a full autopsy before I can tell the gender.
Jane: Hm, I don’t know.  It’s definitely male.  (winks at Korsak)
Maura: Oh no.  The less pronounced super orbital ridges indicate female.
Jane: (hip thurst/ YES! gesture) YES!  Okay, so our victim is definitely female.
Maura: OH!  That is not fair.

Jane: Think she was alive when they set her on fire?  (Maura gives her a look)  I know, I know… you need time and endless tests.

Maura: (picks up fragment off victim, smells it)  Pine scent.  Right where her jacket pocket would be.
Jane: Think she was wearing air freshener?
Maura: No.  I think it might be amber.

Jane: Sooo, how’s everything?
Frankie: Good.
Jane: Anything, new, today?
Frankie: Nope.  Not a thing.
Jane: Was she here to see you?!
Frankie: Who?
Jane: You know who.
Frost: You guys want some privacy?
Frankie: Because my sister is butting into my business.
Jane: I knew it.  You were eating lunch with Theresa.
Frost: If you guys are gonna fight right now…
Frankie: She was here getting fingerprinted for a job and it’s none of your business.
Jane: She pay you back for that Camry?
Frankie: Also not your business.
Frost: You bought a car for a chick?!  Dumb Bro.
Frankie: Excuse me, Bro!
Jane: We had to scrape him off the ceiling every time Hurricane Theresa blew into his life.
Frankie: Oh!  You wanna go there.  Fine.  Let’s talk about Steve Sana.
Frost: Who’s Steve Sana?
Jane: No one.
Frankie: Oh she was nuts about him.  She started wearing dresses.  You shoulda heard her on the phone.  (mock girl voice)  Hi, Steve?  I’m like, good.  (Frost laughs, girl giggle; Jane smacks him)

Frost:  Oh, no.  I don’t like black cats.  (look from Jane)  It’s not a black thing.  It’s your cat baby talk.

Jane: It’s blood, right?
Maura: I don’t know yet.
Jane: So why did you rush all the way over here if you’re going to take as long as you take in your lab?
Maura: Can you hover somewhere else?
Jane: Somebody did get a visitor today.
(Maura shoots her a confused, concerned look)

Frost: This alter doesn’t look like it’s up to anything good.
Maura: I agree.  It suggests a darker, more traditional form of witch craft.
Jane: I don’t even wanna know how you know that.

Maura: Those who practices dark magic give blood to use in spells.
Jane: Again, never tell me how you know this.

Frost: Slaves came with the land back in the day.
Jane: Hey, women were considered property.
(Frost and Jane glare at Korsak)
Korsak: What are you looking at me for?  I don’t even have a cleaning lady!

Jane: Did you find anything to confirm that Helen was crazy?  Korsak said that the real estate developer claimed she was a nut bar.
Maura: The genetics of mental disorders are far more complex than the genetics of many of the rare single gene diseases.
Jane: Yes or no.  Perfectly good answers.
Maura: No.

Jane: 3 sandwiches.  Big lunch.
Frankie: Yea, I’m meeting someone.
Jane: Is that why you’re wearing all that cologne.
Maura: (sniffs Frankie)  It’s quite lovely.  Hints of orange blended with notes of cedar, and (notices Jane’s face, hesitates) ver-bena.
Frankie: Yea.  Thanks.  Ma, I gotta run. 
Angela: Okay.  See ya.  Bye.  Enjoy.
Jane: Where’s he off to?
Angela: A picnic at the Public Gardens. 
Jane: Is it with Theresa?
Angela: Oh I hope not.  I mean, how can he not remember how much pain she put me through.
Jane: You?!  Ma, he was depressed for months when she found a new guy and dumped him on his ass, again!
Angela: I remember.
Maura: That can be quite serious.  Broken heart syndrome, also known as stress cardio myopathy.  It can cause rapid and severe heart muscle weakness.
Angela: Oh my god!  You gotta do something.

(RizzIsles in Maura’s car trying to spy on Frankie)
Jane: Do you see him?
Maura: No.
Jane: It’s hot and I smell like a French fry.
Maura: That’s because we’re in direct sunlight.
Jane: I know that, double-0 7, that’s why I’m hot.
Maura: (pushes button) You feel that?  Ventilation fan.
Jane: Hm.  Magic.
Maura: No.  Solar panels, on the roof of my car?  They automatically generate enough electricity to cool us off.
Jane: How green.
Maura: Isn’t it!
Jane: Does it get rid of French fry smell?

Jane: How is it that you can’t lie but you can talk me into spying on my brother?!
Maura: (sincerely)  We’re not spying.  (look from Jane)  We’re not.  We are gathering data to test a hypothesis.  Which is the first step of scientific inquiry.
Jane: We.  (Pointing with a French fry)  You and I are snooping.  Meddling.  We are sticking our noses where they do not belong.  (looking off in the distance)  Oh my God!  (slouches down in seat; Maura copies movement; Frankie is seen up ahead with Theresa)  I just turned into my mother.  Hypothesis confirmed.  I would recognize that cheap dye-job anywhere.  (Jane’s phone rings; quickly grabs it off dash)  It’s Korsak.  (answers phone on speaker)  Rizzoli.
Maura: (leaning toward phone, smile)  And Isles!

Maura: Sabrina is a very old Welch name.
Jane: It’s also the name of the teenage witch.  (Maura smiles and laughs)

(In response to Korsak naming where a suspect works)
Maura: It’s an occult store.
Jane: You shop there?!
Maura: I’ve bought gifts.

(Frankie knocks on car window)
Jane: (into phone) Gotta go.  (hangs phone up)  Hi, what are you doing here?
Frankie: You followed me.
Maura: We did.  But we are just testing a hypothesis.  We are not snooping.
Frankie: Oh really?  What’s your hypothesis?  If I meet Theresa for lunch it’s your business?
Maura: No.  We were trying to determine if you’re getting back together. (sincere smile)
Jane: (to Maura)  Please stop talking.
Maura: Hypothesis require rigorous testing.  It’s very--
Frankie: You wanna know what I’m doing here?
Jane: No.
Frankie:  Fine.  (waves someone over to the car; little girls comes up)  This is my daughter, Lily.  Say hi to your Aunt Jane.
Lily: HI.
Jane: Hello.  (reaching into her fast food bag)  Want a French fry?
Lily: No.  My mom says they make you look fat.
(Jane deliberately eats fry with a smile on her face, glares at Frankie)

Jane: Let’s get to Salem.
Maura: It’s called the City of Peace now.
Jane: Well that’s nice of them since they put 19 innocent people to death.  (Surprised look from Maura)  Salem was my favorite field trip.  I’ve been there 6 times.

Suspect: We’re hereditary witches.
Maura: (leaning to Jane, whispering)  That means--
Jane: 6 field trips.  I got this.

Angela: Dr. Isles, could I possibly trouble you to host a little family get together?
Jane: No!
Maura: (simultaneous to Jane) Of course!
(Angela walks away)
Jane: What was that?
Maura: (hesitantly) Hospitality?

(Maura & Homicide Team sitting at Séance; Female witches feeding male witch)
Jane: Ugh.  What is she doing?
Maura: A feeding ritual.  In the Hua society of New Guinea, feeding and sexual intercourse are believed to transfer the vital essence new.
Jane: I’m leaving if sexual intercourse is next.
Korsak: I’m not.
Frost: Me either.

Korsak: I don’t like this.
Frost: (whispering) It’s okay.  If you get scared you can hold my hand.

(Witches use Ouija board)
Jane: Fig.  Ohhh.  Spo-oky.
Guy Witch: I just had one in your honor, Helen.  She loved figs.
Maura: (genuinely intrigued) No kidding!
Jane: (sarcastically) No, no kidding, Maura.

Maura: Helen said her killer was near.
Jane: Helen said?
Maura: Oh you’re right.  That sounded a little silly.
Jane: A little.

Jane: Fake.  Phony.  Like Theresa who I now get to watch chew with her mouth open.  Thanks to you!

Angela: Okay, Frankie.  You get to do the honors.
Frankie: You sure?
Angela: (smiling) Yea.
Frankie: (kisses Angela) Okay.
Jane: (smiling proudly from across room)  Wow.  Ma’s never let anyone other than Pop cut the meat before.
Maura: Well, now that Frankie’s a father.
Jane: (smiling, through gritted teeth)  We don’t know that, Maura.

Jane: Lily, my goodness, you are so grown up!  How old are you?
Lily: 7.
Jane: 7?  Wow!  You are almost as old as your Mommy’s Camry!
Frankie: Jane.  Jane, come help me in the kitchen.
Jane: I’m not finished.
Frankie: (walking up behind Jane, lifting her to her feet)  This will just take a second.
Theresa: Hey Frankie.  (glaring at Jane)  Get me some more wine.
Angela: And Lily, would you like some more milk?
Lily: Yes, please.
Jane: I’ll get it for ya baby.  (takes sippy cup)

Frankie: (whispering to Jane in the kitchen)  That’s the mother of my child.
Jane: You sure about that?  She’s always taken advantage of you.  Lied to you.  Cheated on you.
Frankie: Would you stop?!
Jane: No!  I can’t stand to see this happen again.  Not to you and not to that little girl.  Lily is not some car you can buy with Theresa.  She deserves to know the truth, Frankie and so do you.
Frankie: You are really lucky there’s company around.  (walks away, Jane calls after him, Maura goes to Jane in the kitchen)

Jane: (whispering)  Get your purse!
Maura: What?!
Jane: (slowly thru gritted teeth) Get. Your. Purse!  (confused, Maura obliges)  Oh my God.  I’m going straight to hell, I’m stealing a sippy cup!  (puts cup in Maura’s bag)  Go to the car.  Go!

Korsak: What makes people put all those holes in their head and in their-- ugh.
Maura: Tounge and both nipples?  (laughing, amused)  It’s not new though.  Roman Centurians used to attach their capes to their nipple piercings.
Korsak: Okay, that’s good! (Maura laughs)

(Frankie storms into Morgue)
Frankie: Where is it Maura?  Where’s the princess cup?!
Korsak: (recloses bag)  I should go.
Maura: (desperately) Well let me cut the caps off first.
Korsak: They’re fine.  (leaves)
Frankie: I know Jane took Lily’s cup.  Where is it?
Maura: Don’t be mad at Jane.  She just did it because she loves you.
Frankie: What’s your excuse?
Maura: Well, I, I have a bigger purse.  And access to (smiling) superior paternity testing.
Frankie: Oh yea?!  Well guess what?  I’m getting my own paternity test.  If Lily turns out to be mine, I’m gonna be the Dad she deserves.  And Jane is just gonna have to accept it.
Maura: That’s very admirable, Frankie.  And clearly Theresa needs a good guy like you in her life.
Frankie: I’m never getting back with Theresa.  It’s about Lily now.  (leaves Morgue, runs into Angela in the doorway)  Ma?!
Angela: Whoops!  Oh.  I must’a gotten lost. 
Frankie: What’s that behind your back?
Angela: Nothing.  Oh, Dr. Isles is working.  I better come back.  (turns to leave, Frankie grabs her)
Frankie: Hey.  (takes bag from Angela)
Maura: That’s okay.  I can still talk while I analyze stomach contents. 
Frankie: What’s this in the bag?  (realization dawns)  You gotta be kidding me.
Angela: I’m sorry, Frankie.  I have to know for your sake.
Maura: I have to talk to Jane.  We just got a breakthrough in this case.  But you’re welcome to stay here and finish this argument.
Frankie: Gee thanks.

Frankie: Whatcha eatin?  Humble pie?
Jane: I deserve that.  I’m sorry, okay?  I’m a jerk.
Frankie: Yea.  Yea you are. 
Jane: Lily, she’s a nice girl.  And I’m gonna be a great Aunt, I promise. 
Frankie: Nope.  You won’t be.  I got the paternity test back.  Lily’s not my daughter. 
Jane: I’m sorry, Frankie.
Frankie: Yea, ya know what?  So am I.
Maura: You’ll make a really good father some day.
Frankie: Yea, some day.
Jane: That’s too bad.  I was really looking forward to holidays with Theresa.  (everyone laughs)  What are we gonna do about Ma?!
Korsak: She like cats?
Jane: Oh don’t even think about it!
Maura: (jokingly) Beretta is very sweet.
Jane: Okay, it’s your house!  (to Frankie) C’mere.  Sit down.  Let me buy you a beer.  (hugs Frankie)  I love you.

 GIFs not mine >> I save awesome stuff after I reblog