Saturday, October 6, 2012

Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.08 -- "My Own Worst Enemy"

Case: An older man is killed after him and his son are mugged leaving a restaurant
RizzIsles: A mysterious man from Maura’s past randomly shows up; Jane is hurt that Maura is being very secretive about him; Jane has a foot injury and keeps limping around,

Maura: (knock on her front door, looks through window)  Ian?!  Oh my god!  (opens the door)
Ian: Hello there.  (slowly enters, throws bag down)
Maura: (gazing lustfully, jumps to straddle him, kissing)  What if I had someone here?
Ian: Do you?
Maura: No.
Ian: We’re in luck then.  (kissing, keeping Maura close against him, walks to couch and lays her down under him)
Maura: Where have you been?
Ian: I’m here now. (resume making out on the couch)

(At a crime scene, Jane is sitting on hood of squad car examining her foot; She quickly puts her boot on and limps toward Korsak when he calls)
Korsak: (explains scene they’re entering) Are you limping?
Jane: What?  No. (tries to walk normal)

Jane: (talking about case, interrupts herself)  Where is Maura?!
Korsak: Can’t do this without your b-f-f?
Jane: Not when she’s the Chief Medical Examiner.  No.

(Jane pulls out her cell to make a call)
Korsak: Dispatch has already called Dr. Isles.
Jane: Nah, I know.  I’m gonna call the CI.  He knows this neighborhood real well.  (Cell phone rings in the crowd playing music: “You are the one I waited for…”)
Rondo: (answering phone) Hello Vanilla.  (waves from the crowd)
Korsak: (muttering and walking away)  This freaking guy.
Jane: (to officer guarding police line) It’s okay, he’s with us.  C’mon Rondo.  Step this way.  (guiding him to the side by his elbow)
Rondo: I will step anywhere you tell me to step, Vanilla.  You are looking today, I tell you what girl.  I like it when you hold me tight.
Jane: C’mon, stop it.  This isn’t a date.  Okay, I need some information.
Rondo: I have lots of information.  (looking Jane up and down) And I know how to treat a lady right.
Jane: (through gritted teeth, rolling her eyes) Shut. Up.

(Maura struts on to crime scene flustered)
Maura: Hi.
Jane: Where ya been?
Maura: Uh, bed.
Jane: You okay?
Maura: (beaming, breathless) Yea.  Why?
Jane: Cause you’re wearing two different shoes!  (giggling)  You are so not feeling okay.
Maura: (quickly) I got dressed in the dark.  What about you?  You’re limping.
Jane: Oh no I’m not.
Maura: Yes you are.  You know why??  Because you buy your boots a half size too small.
Jane: No I don’t!
Maura: You stomp.
Jane: I do not stomp.
Maura: (head tilt, smile)

(Next morning, in Maura’s kitchen; Ian is making tea)
Maura: (hugging Ian, looking up at him expectantly, speaking breathlessly)  Why don’t you ever tell me when you’re coming?
Ian: Because I never know if I am…
(Key sound in the door, Maura pulls back)
Maura: Oh, that’s Jane’s mother.
Ian: Should I hide?
Maura: Uh, no.  Just say that we’re colleagues.  (smirking)  I don’t want to have to explain you.
Ian: I’m hard to explain.

Angela: (reading) If you’re a busy, unorganized professional.
Ian: Oh you mean like Dr. Isles here?  (Maura shoots him a look, smiles at Angela)
Angela: (reading) Are you ready to conquer the clutter?!  (pan around incredibly clean, organized house)  Yea, well, um, I’m just gonna check yes.
(Ian and Maura exchange a quick warm glance)

(New crime scene; Uniform is patting down Rondo)
Rondo: I’m tellin ya.  I’m the one that called it in.
Uniform: He says he’s with a Detective Vanilla.
Korsak: I can’t imagine why you didn’t believe him.
Jane: It’s alright.  He’s with me sir.
Rondo: (regarding Korsak) He gotta be here?
(Jane smirks)
Korsak: He does.
Jane: Talk.

Jane: (limping into Morgue) Hm, we’re feeling better… your shoes match. (smiling)
Maura: (smiling) I was just tired last night.  You’re still limping.  (Jane groans, Maura grabs her phone to reply to a message, smiling)
Jane: (smiling) Who’s that?
Maura: Not important.
Jane: Hm. Oh, okay.  Well can we go out on a limb and say this junkie OD’d?
Maura: (brightly) Yes!
Jane: Really?!
(talking about the case, Maura’s phone vibrates again, she puts it in her pocket without looking)
Jane: Well you didn’t even read it that time.
Maura: It’s nothing.  (goes back to case file)
Jane: (smiling) You’re in a weird mood.
Maura: No.  I’m not.  (back to reading file)
Jane: Okay.  (phone vibrates, checks message)  Oh.  I gotta go talk to my CI.  Wanna grab a coffee afterwards?
Maura: (smiling to herself) No, I already had tea.
Jane: Oh.  (hesitates, confused, leaves)

Angela: Did you meet Dr. Isles’ new hunk?
Jane: (conspiratorially)  What?!
Angela: Ian?  They think I was born yesterday.  He spent the night.
Jane: Ma, that’s really none of your busin-- Ian spent the night?!
Angela: Mmhm.  Didn’t she tell you??
Jane: (slight hesitation) Um yea.  Yes.  Okay thanks.  (leaves counter with coffee)

Rondo: I got you on speed dial, Vanilla.

(Talking about case in the lab; Maura’s phone vibrates, she looks quickly then puts it back down)
Jane: (teasing tone)  Is that Ian?
Maura: (quickly glances to others around, gathers materials to move to morgue) Uh, let’s go and take a look at the victim’s nails.
Jane: (rolling her eyes)  Oh, lets.
Maura: (walking passed Jane holding morgue door, speaks dryly) Yes it was Ian.  Just an old friend.  (examines victim’s fingers)  His cuticles have never been cut.  I’d say he’s never had a manicure.
Jane: You don’t have to tell me about Ian.  (Maura looks up at Jane)  It’s none of my business.
Maura: I’m not not telling you about him.  (shrugs)  He just stopped by this morning.  (looks down)
Jane: (looking to the side, not directly at Maura)  I heard he stopped by last night.  (quick glance at Maura)
Maura: (stuttering, uncomfortable) Uh, um, he lives in Africa.  It’s um.  It’s complicated.
Jane: (short) Okay.  (shrugs, starts to walk away slowly)  Uh, let me know if you find anything else (exaggerated) in the case as long as it’s not complicated.  I mean, who am I to help you with your complicated love life?!
Maura: Jane.  (grabs phone, walks to Jane)
Jane: (stops walking, waits; Maura stops to smile at her phone as she reads/replies to messages; Jane rolls her eyes and starts to walk away again)  Good bye.  Have a fabulous time reading your, love texts in private.
Maura: (glancing up quickly)  No, Jane.  Jane wait.  Wait.  It’s nothing.  (Jane stops)  It’s nothing.  Look.  (hands Jane her cell)
Jane: (reading slowly) Ahunay ee tee pia.  Wessette ab bur-- (annoyed, hands phone back to Maura)
Maura: (school girl smile)  He just said, um, guess what we’d be doing if we were in Ethiopia right now.
Jane: That doesn’t sound complicated.  (Maura continues smiling, reading and replying; Jane gets annoyed) I killed Korsak with your scalpel.  (Maura laughs at her phone)  I contaminated all your DNA samples.  (Maura continues smiling at phone)  I snuck into your closet and put all your shoes in different boxes.
Maura: (head snapping up)  What?!
Jane: Never mind.  (walks away)
Maura: No, Jane!  Wait.  Wa-wait, I’m sorry.  Let me at least take a look at your foot.
Jane: Oh no!  I don’t think we’re close enough for that anymore.
Maura: Please??  I’m, I’m sorry.  Okay?  Look.  (makes show of putting phone off to the side, gestures for Jane to sit in seat)
Jane: (sitting)  You’ll be really sorry when my toe kills me.  (removes boot and sock; takes deep breath, puts foot up to Maura.)  Okay.  Don’t touch it.  (Maura touches it) Ow!!  (through gritted teeth)  Maura.
Maura: (carefully)  Okay.  You have acute anickocryptosis. 
Jane: Do I need to update my will?
Maura: In grown toenail.  You need a minor procedure.
Jane: Okay.  You do it.
Maura: Me?  I don’t do surgery.
Jane: It’s not a kidney transplant, Maura.  Just do it.
Korsak: (enters morgue, sees RizzIsles with Jane’s foot in Maura’s hand, shakes his head)  Not gonna ask.

(Knocking on door)
Maura: (opens door, smirking, accusatory)  What are you doing here?
Jane: (limping) My toe.  It’s killing me.
Maura: Unless it’s given you a staph infection, it’s hardly killing you.
Jane: (starts to protest, stops when she sees Ian closing boxes on dining room table)  Oh, I’m so sorry to barge in.  (smirking)
Maura: No, that’s okay.
Ian: (walking over, hand extended)  Hi.  You must be Jane Rizzoli.  Let me get you a glass of wine.
Jane: Okay.  Thank you.  You must be Ian.
Maura: Jane needs a phenylization procedure.
Ian: Oh!  Then you’ll want a lot of wine.  I better open another bottle.  (walks away)
Maura: (amused)  Did you come over here to check up on me?
Jane: Oh yea.  I rubbed bad germs all over my ingrown toenail so I could spy on you.
Ian: Uh, Maura.  I can’t find the corkscrew.
Maura: (to Jane)  Your mother has been doing some organizing for me.  (gestures to cabinets)  
Jane: Ugh.  Can’t she find a slob-- (horrified, notices printed labels on all cabinets and drawers) to. bother.  I’m so sorry!
Maura: That’s okay.  (digging through drawers)  She alphabetized everything so now corkscrew is next to the chopsticks.  (smile)
Ian: Let me see that foot while I open the wine.
Jane: (hesitant, confused)  Okay.  (boosts herself onto island)
Ian: What can I use to do the procedure?
Jane: (protesting)  I thought was gonna do it.  (desperately glances at Maura)
Maura: Uh Ian is much more qualified.  (smiles, moves to find something)  I just got a new pair of carbon steel pruning sheers.  (quick pan to Jane’s terrified smile)  But would that be under C or F?  Uh, P!  Guess that makes sense.  P for pruning. (reassuring smile, hands tool to Ian)
Ian: Thank you.
Jane: What are you gonna cut off my toe?!
Ian: Pretty much the same tool the podiatrists use.  (sterilizing tool with lighter, Jane looks on wide-eyed, chugs her wine)

Ian: Okay.  This is going to feel a little bit cold.  (sprays topical anesthetic on Jane’s foot)
Jane: (jumps, pulls foot back, trying to speak calmly)  OOOOkay.  That’s fine.  (Maura smirks)
Ian: Oh and I’m gonna need a toothpick too.
Jane: What?!  What for?!  (Maura smirks and walks away)

Jane: (sitting in cafĂ© doing paperwork, spots delivery boy with basket)  Oh, hey.  You lookin for Dr. Maura Isles?  Give it to me.  I’ll take it to her.
Angela: (grabs card from basket)
Jane: Maa!
Angela: What?  It’s from Ian.
Jane: (looking at basket)  Wow.  Two buck chuck and 3 rolls of toilet paper.  Romance lives.
Angela: She’s more secretive about this one, isn’t she?
Jane: (doing paperwork)  No.  Yes. 
Angela: Hurts your feelings that she’s not confiding in you.  (Jane softly looks up at Angela)  I’m sorry sweetheart.
Jane: I don’t care.  Ya know.  I don’t need to know every detail of her personal life.
Angela: But she usually tells you.
Jane: (shrugs)  Yea.
Angela: He seems charming.  But ya know, those are the ones you have to worry about.
Jane: I got a really weird vibe from him.  He was unpacking boxes and then when he saw me he just closed them all up.
Angela: That’s your cop gut.  Maybe he’s a criminal.
Jane: (rolls her eyes)  I don’t know.
Angela: Well he is Australian.  Aren’t they all descended from crooks?
Jane: (laughs)  Ma, that was like 200 years ago and I don’t think we can hold that against him.
Angela: Ya know.  While I’m in there organizing, I can poke around.
Jane: Please don’t do that.
Angela: I hear you loud and clear.  You need deniability. 
Jane: (sternly)  Ma.  No.  (Angela holds her hands up in surrender and walks away)  Nooo!!  (seeing Maura walk into headquarters)  Maura!  (grabs stuff and runs to her)  Maura!
Maura: (smiling, laughing)  That must be from Ian. 
Jane: Ian really knows how to woo a girl
Maura: When we did relief work in Ethiopia we’d talk about what we’d give for some cheap wine and toilet paper.
Jane: How come you never told me about him?
Maura: I’m sure I have.  You must have forgotten.  Thanks for this.  (gets on elevator) 

(In Morgue with Maura about to autopsy a rat)
Jane: Maybe you should do an autopsy.
Maura: Technically it’s called a necropsy.
Jane: Well let’s not tell the tax payers what we do with their tax dollars.
(Cart with a bunch of boxes is rolled into morgue)
Jane: (boot off, rubbing her toe)  What is that?!
Maura: Supplies.
Jane: For Ian?
Maura: Yes, for Ian.  Who fixed your toe.  How is your toe?
Jane: How is your conscience?
Maura: Excuse me?  (continues working)
Jane: What are you doing?!  Who is this guy?!  Why are you being so weird?
Maura: Why are you turning into a snoopy dog?
Jane: Do you mean Snoop Dogg or Snoopy THE Dog?  Either way I’m insulted.
Maura: Too insulted to find out what killed your rats?
Jane: Okay that is so not fair.

Angela: Jane!  Ian is a spy.
Jane: What’d you do, Ma?
Angela: I found passports from different countries, all with his photo and um, (digging into top of her shirt, grabs piece of paper) and all with different names.  (hands Jane paper)
Jane: You shouldn’t have done this, Ma.

Jane: (quickly as heading out to pursue a suspect) Speaking of hiding.  Ian is wanted for questioning by Interpol for smuggling drugs.
Maura: You’ve been investigating me.
Korsak: (from down the hall) Jane!
Jane: I’m coming!  (runs out, Maura is clearly angry)

(knocking on door, Maura answers)
Jane: Hi. 
Maura: (softly, strained)  Hi.
Jane: (concerned)  You okay?  (Maura shakes her head, holding back tears, walks toward dining room; Jane walks in behind her unsure and hesitant)  Where’s Ian?
Maura: (heavy sigh, looks down, sits at counter)  He’s gone.  I harbored a fugitive.  So, go ahead and arrest me.
Jane: I’m sorry.
Maura: Because you won’t be able to arrest him?
Jane: (takes a second to take in Maura’s appearance, hands her a tissue)  Man, you got it bad.
Maura: (crying)  You know when people talk about the loves of their lives?  That’s Ian.
Jane: (softly) You never ever mentioned him.
Maura: Cause I try to forget him. 
Jane: I’m sorry Maura.  I shouldn’t have done what I did.  It’s none of my business.
Maura: (shifting in her seat)  I just, I can’t… I can’t talk about him.  I can’t.  With anybody… because it makes me so sad.  How can you-- How can you love someone and not be able to be with them?
Jane: Why can’t you be with him?
Maura: He went back to Africa.
Jane: You can go to Africa.
Maura: (shakes her head, sighs)  His crime is risking his life to bring drugs and basic supplies to places nobody cares about.  And I helped him, so, go ahead and arrest me.
Jane: (smiles sweetly, looks around kitchen shocked and appalled)  The first person I’m gonna arrest is my mother!  What?!  Really?!  High ball glasses?!  (Maura smiling)  When was the last time you had a high ball?!  C’mon.
Maura: (sipping from a shot glass)  She rearranged my closet too.
Jane: No.  Not the closet.
Maura: She threw away my shoe boxes.
Jane: Oh no.  That is a crime.  Sorry.  (hands Maura another tissue)  Want me to take you to the airport?
Maura: (sighs, thinks)  No…. no.
Jane: Want me to sit with you til you feel better?
Maura: Yes.  …but first can you arrest your mother?
Jane: (brightly) Okay!  (RizzIsles smile, Jane motions for Maura to stand up, hugs her close, Maura starts crying again)  It’s okay.  It’ll be okay…

GIFs not mine >> I save awesome stuff after I reblog

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