Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 2.07 -- "Bloodlines"

Case: Witches are being burned at the stake

RizzIsles: Jane is frustrated that Frankie’s ex-girlfriend is back; Maura convinces Jane to spy on Frankie and tries to help

(Angela puts breakfast down for the girls; Jane’s is bunny pancakes; Uniform walks by and gives her a look)

Jane: (cutting ears off pancakes)  Okay, at work, make normal pancakes.

Maura: I love bunny pancakes.

Jane: Do not, encourage her.  (to Angela)  So we’re clear, no zoo animal shapes at work.  (Angela smirks)

Maura: Rabbits aren’t zoo animals.  Well, except for the Washington Pigmie which is being bread in captivity.

Angela: Talking about breeding… I could make bunny pancakes for grandchildren.

Jane: Mom!  (drops fork)

Angela: Uh oh.  You know what that means?  Drop a fork, expect a female visitor.

Maura: Are you still menstruating, Mrs. Rizzoli?  (Angela gives her a “mensa mensa” hand)

Jane: Maura!  God, no!  Other kind of visitor… the person kind.  She’s very superstitious.  My mother believes in all that stuff about cats, umbrellas and ladders.  Had me convinced I was gonna paralyze her if I stepped on a crack.

Maura: (sing songy kid’s voice) Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.  (amused)  You believed that?

Jane: I was 5.  (to Angela)  Don’t you have other customers?

Jane: (sees Angela greet a woman in the Café)  Oh my God!  What is SHE doing here?!

Maura: Who’s that?

Jane: Frankie’s ex. 

(Angela hugs the woman)

Maura: Looks like your mother likes her.

Jane: Uh, no.  That would be her I-can’t-stand-you hug.  She’s way too polite to call her the word that rhymes with witch.

Maura: (loudly) Bitch?

Jane: Sshh!! 

Angela: Jane.  (walks woman over to table)  Look who I found!

Jane: (stands, awkwardly hugs woman)  Theresa.  How, how ya doin?  (Maura looks on noticing Jane’s body language)

Theresa: Jane, wow!  Long time.

Jane: What are you doing here at Boston Police headquarters?

Theresa: Just moved back to town.

Jane: Just thought you’d pop by the police department?

Theresa: Job application.

Jane: You’re being fingerprinted?

Theresa: (trying to mask her annoyance) It’s mandatory for everyone applying. 

Jane: Sure.  Sure.  (Maura watches Jane with concern and confusion)  Especially for people who have other people co-sign a car loan and then default on that loan.  (Continues eating)

Theresa: Good seeing you too, Jane.

Jane: See ya around.  (sarcastic smile as she leaves)

(Angela smirks and walks away)

Maura: Wow!  You just gave her your I-can’t-stand-you hug.  Seesh!  Uncomfortable!

Jane: You want uncomfortable?  Trying paying off Theresa’s car loan while she skips town and leaves you holding the bag.

Maura: Perhaps you should have had her fingerprinted first. 

Jane: No, not me.  Frankie.  It’s the love of his life.

Maura: She’s very symmetrical. 

Jane: (disbelief) ‘scuse me?

Maura: Studies have shown that women who have the most symmetrical facial features are the most attractive to men.

Jane: You’re not helping.

Maura: Hmm.  It’s interesting.  I’m gonna have to do a full autopsy before I can tell the gender.

Jane: Hm, I don’t know.  It’s definitely male.  (winks at Korsak)

Maura: Oh no.  The less pronounced super orbital ridges indicate female.

Jane: (hip thurst/ YES! gesture) YES!  Okay, so our victim is definitely female.

Maura: OH!  That is not fair.

Jane: Think she was alive when they set her on fire?  (Maura gives her a look)  I know, I know… you need time and endless tests.

Maura: (picks up fragment off victim, smells it)  Pine scent.  Right where her jacket pocket would be.

Jane: Think she was wearing air freshener?

Maura: No.  I think it might be amber.

Jane: Sooo, how’s everything?

Frankie: Good.

Jane: Anything, new, today?

Frankie: Nope.  Not a thing.

Jane: Was she here to see you?!

Frankie: Who?

Jane: You know who.

Frost: You guys want some privacy?

Frankie: Because my sister is butting into my business.

Jane: I knew it.  You were eating lunch with Theresa.

Frost: If you guys are gonna fight right now…

Frankie: She was here getting fingerprinted for a job and it’s none of your business.

Jane: She pay you back for that Camry?

Frankie: Also not your business.

Frost: You bought a car for a chick?!  Dumb Bro.

Frankie: Excuse me, Bro!

Jane: We had to scrape him off the ceiling every time Hurricane Theresa blew into his life.

Frankie: Oh!  You wanna go there.  Fine.  Let’s talk about Steve Sana.

Frost: Who’s Steve Sana?

Jane: No one.

Frankie: Oh she was nuts about him.  She started wearing dresses.  You shoulda heard her on the phone.  (mock girl voice)  Hi, Steve?  I’m like, good.  (Frost laughs, girl giggle; Jane smacks him)

Frost:  Oh, no.  I don’t like black cats.  (look from Jane)  It’s not a black thing.  It’s your cat baby talk.

Jane: It’s blood, right?

Maura: I don’t know yet.

Jane: So why did you rush all the way over here if you’re going to take as long as you take in your lab?

Maura: Can you hover somewhere else?

Jane: Somebody did get a visitor today.

(Maura shoots her a confused, concerned look)

Frost: This alter doesn’t look like it’s up to anything good.

Maura: I agree.  It suggests a darker, more traditional form of witch craft.

Jane: I don’t even wanna know how you know that.

Maura: Those who practices dark magic give blood to use in spells.

Jane: Again, never tell me how you know this.

Frost: Slaves came with the land back in the day.

Jane: Hey, women were considered property.

(Frost and Jane glare at Korsak)

Korsak: What are you looking at me for?  I don’t even have a cleaning lady!

Jane: Did you find anything to confirm that Helen was crazy?  Korsak said that the real estate developer claimed she was a nut bar.

Maura: The genetics of mental disorders are far more complex than the genetics of many of the rare single gene diseases.

Jane: Yes or no.  Perfectly good answers.

Maura: No.

Jane: 3 sandwiches.  Big lunch.

Frankie: Yea, I’m meeting someone.

Jane: Is that why you’re wearing all that cologne.

Maura: (sniffs Frankie)  It’s quite lovely.  Hints of orange blended with notes of cedar, and (notices Jane’s face, hesitates) ver-bena.

Frankie: Yea.  Thanks.  Ma, I gotta run. 

Angela: Okay.  See ya.  Bye.  Enjoy.

Jane: Where’s he off to?

Angela: A picnic at the Public Gardens. 

Jane: Is it with Theresa?

Angela: Oh I hope not.  I mean, how can he not remember how much pain she put me through.

Jane: You?!  Ma, he was depressed for months when she found a new guy and dumped him on his ass, again!

Angela: I remember.

Maura: That can be quite serious.  Broken heart syndrome, also known as stress cardio myopathy.  It can cause rapid and severe heart muscle weakness.

Angela: Oh my god!  You gotta do something.

(RizzIsles in Maura’s car trying to spy on Frankie)

Jane: Do you see him?

Maura: No.

Jane: It’s hot and I smell like a French fry.

Maura: That’s because we’re in direct sunlight.

Jane: I know that, double-0 7, that’s why I’m hot.

Maura: (pushes button) You feel that?  Ventilation fan.

Jane: Hm.  Magic.

Maura: No.  Solar panels, on the roof of my car?  They automatically generate enough electricity to cool us off.

Jane: How green.

Maura: Isn’t it!

Jane: Does it get rid of French fry smell?

Jane: How is it that you can’t lie but you can talk me into spying on my brother?!

Maura: (sincerely)  We’re not spying.  (look from Jane)  We’re not.  We are gathering data to test a hypothesis.  Which is the first step of scientific inquiry.

Jane: We.  (Pointing with a French fry)  You and I are snooping.  Meddling.  We are sticking our noses where they do not belong.  (looking off in the distance)  Oh my God!  (slouches down in seat; Maura copies movement; Frankie is seen up ahead with Theresa)  I just turned into my mother.  Hypothesis confirmed.  I would recognize that cheap dye-job anywhere.  (Jane’s phone rings; quickly grabs it off dash)  It’s Korsak.  (answers phone on speaker)  Rizzoli.

Maura: (leaning toward phone, smile)  And Isles!

Maura: Sabrina is a very old Welch name.

Jane: It’s also the name of the teenage witch.  (Maura smiles and laughs)

(In response to Korsak naming where a suspect works)

Maura: It’s an occult store.

Jane: You shop there?!

Maura: I’ve bought gifts.

(Frankie knocks on car window)

Jane: (into phone) Gotta go.  (hangs phone up)  Hi, what are you doing here?

Frankie: You followed me.

Maura: We did.  But we are just testing a hypothesis.  We are not snooping.

Frankie: Oh really?  What’s your hypothesis?  If I meet Theresa for lunch it’s your business?

Maura: No.  We were trying to determine if you’re getting back together. (sincere smile)

Jane: (to Maura)  Please stop talking.

Maura: Hypothesis require rigorous testing.  It’s very--

Frankie: You wanna know what I’m doing here?

Jane: No.

Frankie:  Fine.  (waves someone over to the car; little girls comes up)  This is my daughter, Lily.  Say hi to your Aunt Jane.

Lily: HI.

Jane: Hello.  (reaching into her fast food bag)  Want a French fry?

Lily: No.  My mom says they make you look fat.

(Jane deliberately eats fry with a smile on her face, glares at Frankie)

Jane: Let’s get to Salem.

Maura: It’s called the City of Peace now.

Jane: Well that’s nice of them since they put 19 innocent people to death.  (Surprised look from Maura)  Salem was my favorite field trip.  I’ve been there 6 times.

Suspect: We’re hereditary witches.

Maura: (leaning to Jane, whispering)  That means--

Jane: 6 field trips.  I got this.

Angela: Dr. Isles, could I possibly trouble you to host a little family get together?

Jane: No!

Maura: (simultaneous to Jane) Of course!

(Angela walks away)

Jane: What was that?

Maura: (hesitantly) Hospitality?

(Maura & Homicide Team sitting at Séance; Female witches feeding male witch)

Jane: Ugh.  What is she doing?

Maura: A feeding ritual.  In the Hua society of New Guinea, feeding and sexual intercourse are believed to transfer the vital essence new.

Jane: I’m leaving if sexual intercourse is next.

Korsak: I’m not.

Frost: Me either.

Korsak: I don’t like this.

Frost: (whispering) It’s okay.  If you get scared you can hold my hand.

(Witches use Ouija board)

Jane: Fig.  Ohhh.  Spo-oky.

Guy Witch: I just had one in your honor, Helen.  She loved figs.

Maura: (genuinely intrigued) No kidding!

Jane: (sarcastically) No, no kidding, Maura.

Maura: Helen said her killer was near.

Jane: Helen said?

Maura: Oh you’re right.  That sounded a little silly.

Jane: A little.

Jane: Fake.  Phony.  Like Theresa who I now get to watch chew with her mouth open.  Thanks to you!

Angela: Okay, Frankie.  You get to do the honors.

Frankie: You sure?

Angela: (smiling) Yea.

Frankie: (kisses Angela) Okay.

Jane: (smiling proudly from across room)  Wow.  Ma’s never let anyone other than Pop cut the meat before.

Maura: Well, now that Frankie’s a father.

Jane: (smiling, through gritted teeth)  We don’t know that, Maura.

Jane: Lily, my goodness, you are so grown up!  How old are you?

Lily: 7.

Jane: 7?  Wow!  You are almost as old as your Mommy’s Camry!

Frankie: Jane.  Jane, come help me in the kitchen.

Jane: I’m not finished.

Frankie: (walking up behind Jane, lifting her to her feet)  This will just take a second.

Theresa: Hey Frankie.  (glaring at Jane)  Get me some more wine.

Angela: And Lily, would you like some more milk?

Lily: Yes, please.

Jane: I’ll get it for ya baby.  (takes sippy cup)

Frankie: (whispering to Jane in the kitchen)  That’s the mother of my child.

Jane: You sure about that?  She’s always taken advantage of you.  Lied to you.  Cheated on you.

Frankie: Would you stop?!

Jane: No!  I can’t stand to see this happen again.  Not to you and not to that little girl.  Lily is not some car you can buy with Theresa.  She deserves to know the truth, Frankie and so do you.

Frankie: You are really lucky there’s company around.  (walks away, Jane calls after him, Maura goes to Jane in the kitchen)

Jane: (whispering)  Get your purse!

Maura: What?!

Jane: (slowly thru gritted teeth) Get. Your. Purse!  (confused, Maura obliges)  Oh my God.  I’m going straight to hell, I’m stealing a sippy cup!  (puts cup in Maura’s bag)  Go to the car.  Go!

Korsak: What makes people put all those holes in their head and in their-- ugh.

Maura: Tounge and both nipples?  (laughing, amused)  It’s not new though.  Roman Centurians used to attach their capes to their nipple piercings.

Korsak: Okay, that’s good! (Maura laughs)

(Frankie storms into Morgue)

Frankie: Where is it Maura?  Where’s the princess cup?!

Korsak: (recloses bag)  I should go.

Maura: (desperately) Well let me cut the caps off first.

Korsak: They’re fine.  (leaves)

Frankie: I know Jane took Lily’s cup.  Where is it?

Maura: Don’t be mad at Jane.  She just did it because she loves you.

Frankie: What’s your excuse?

Maura: Well, I, I have a bigger purse.  And access to (smiling) superior paternity testing.

Frankie: Oh yea?!  Well guess what?  I’m getting my own paternity test.  If Lily turns out to be mine, I’m gonna be the Dad she deserves.  And Jane is just gonna have to accept it.

Maura: That’s very admirable, Frankie.  And clearly Theresa needs a good guy like you in her life.

Frankie: I’m never getting back with Theresa.  It’s about Lily now.  (leaves Morgue, runs into Angela in the doorway)  Ma?!

Angela: Whoops!  Oh.  I must’a gotten lost. 

Frankie: What’s that behind your back?

Angela: Nothing.  Oh, Dr. Isles is working.  I better come back.  (turns to leave, Frankie grabs her)

Frankie: Hey.  (takes bag from Angela)

Maura: That’s okay.  I can still talk while I analyze stomach contents. 

Frankie: What’s this in the bag?  (realization dawns)  You gotta be kidding me.

Angela: I’m sorry, Frankie.  I have to know for your sake.

Maura: I have to talk to Jane.  We just got a breakthrough in this case.  But you’re welcome to stay here and finish this argument.

Frankie: Gee thanks.

Frankie: Whatcha eatin?  Humble pie?

Jane: I deserve that.  I’m sorry, okay?  I’m a jerk.

Frankie: Yea.  Yea you are. 

Jane: Lily, she’s a nice girl.  And I’m gonna be a great Aunt, I promise. 

Frankie: Nope.  You won’t be.  I got the paternity test back.  Lily’s not my daughter. 

Jane: I’m sorry, Frankie.

Frankie: Yea, ya know what?  So am I.

Maura: You’ll make a really good father some day.

Frankie: Yea, some day.

Jane: That’s too bad.  I was really looking forward to holidays with Theresa.  (everyone laughs)  What are we gonna do about Ma?!

Korsak: She like cats?

Jane: Oh don’t even think about it!

Maura: (jokingly) Beretta is very sweet.

Jane: Okay, it’s your house!  (to Frankie) C’mere.  Sit down.  Let me buy you a beer.  (hugs Frankie)  I love you.

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