Quotable RizzIsles: Episode 1.01 -- "See One. Do One. Teach One."

Case: Hoyt’s apprentice is doing his work; Hoyt escapes and hunts Jane

RizzIsles: Maura does everything she can to be there for Jane as Hoyt stalks her; they’re both interested in Agent Dean

Maura: (Glancing up from the body at Jane)  Hairline fracture. The nasal bone above the lateral nasal cartilage.  It’s not disfiguring.

Jane: Can you pop this out for me?

Maura: Can’t you do something safe like yoga.  Might hurt a little.

Jane: Okay.  (Maura pops her nose back)  OW!  A little?!

Maura: Put some ice on it for the next 24 hours so you don’t look like Mike Tyson.

Angela: I hope Frankie Junior is okay out there.

Jane: He’s not after Frankie Junior.  Don’t worry.

Angela: Your father is out there too.

Jane: What?!  Why is Pop out there?  Did you bring the dog too?!

Angela: Why would I bring the dog?

Jane: (To Maura as she answers the door in the middle of the night) Why do you always look like you’re about to do a photoshoot?

Jane: Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you’re attracted to me?

Jane: Did you ever like the same guy as your best friend?

Maura: No.

Jane: Did you ever have a best friend?

Maura: No.

Jane: You’d tell me if you were a cyborg, right?

Maura: (thinking)  No, I don’t think I would.

Maura: I’m not seeing him (Dean).

Jane: Yet.

Maura: Well, somebody should don’t you think?

Jane: Yup.

Maura: Should we draw straws?

Jane: Couldn’t we just show him our tits and let him decide?

(Laughing)

(Jane hears a sound and sits up)

Maura: It’s okay.  (Reaches for Jane’s arm)  It’s just Bass.  Really.  It’s okay.

Jane: I’ve never been so scared in all my life.

Jane: Ted Bundy!

Maura: That’s… 5 letters too many for that anagram.

Jane: How do you do that?  Fine.  Theodore Bundy.

Jane: If we take this body back now all we’ll find out is “yup she’s dead” and “yup, they killed her”.  Please.  Do this for me.

Jane: You told Agent Dean where we were, didn’t you?

Maura: I did.

Jane: Without telling me?

Maura: I’m sorry.

Jane: Really?  You’re sorry?  Because I treated a Senior Federal Agent like a perp.  I tackled him, Maura.  In a creek.

Maura: Well that’s unfortunate.  But there is a fine line between courage and stupidity. 

Jane: Yea.  A fine, thin, blue line.

Other misc convo

Maura: (smirking) Did you actually tackle him?

Jane: Yes.  Like a linebacker.  Very professional.

Maura: (Laughs) Wow.  You’re very brave.

Jane: No.  I’m simply tired of being afraid.

(Jo Friday barks)

Jane: What?  You have a turtle.

Maura: Tortoise.

Jane: Whatever.

Maura: Well at least give her a bath.

(Creepy Halloween music rings from Jane’s phone)

Jane: God, Ma, give it a rest.

Maura: Um, what’s my ringtone?

(Funeral March plays from Jane’s phone)

Maura: (smirking) Nice.  …and upbeat.

Maura: You should talk to your Mom.

Jane: She’s so mad at me because I won’t come home and sleep in my pink canopy bed.

Maura: I always wanted a canopy.

Jane: I wanted a horse.  Please don’t tell me you always wanted to dissect dead people.

Maura: Okay, I won’t.

Maura: I thought you might need some help cleaning up.

Jane: Yea.  Alright, um… let me get you some work clothes.

Maura: These are my work clothes. (Laughs at Jane’s look of contempt)  What?  (shoulder shimmy) You don’t like? 

Maura: So.  Where do you want me to start?

Jane: Come on.

Maura: What?

Jane: Let’s go get a bloody mary.  We always say we need to do something outside of a crime scene.  This is a crime scene.  Let’s go.

Maura: Great.  But, um, dressed like that?

Jane: These are my going out clothes.

What was your favorite line/scene/quote from this episode?  Please let me know if I missed it so I can include it too! :) Happy RizzIsles obsessing!!

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